This first poem was written out of anger, and started my renewed interesting in writing poetry. I had gotten very angry at my brother, though I can't remember why, and actually wanted to hit him. Since I knew I didn't actually want to hurt him, and I still needed to vent my rage, I decided to write this poem, instead.

At around the second to last stanza, I was feeling a lot better and no longer had any anger left. As a result, I had to write the rest of the poem based on thoughts, rather than feelings, making the closer of the poem a bit weak, in my opinion. However, I would rather have a weak ending than a continuous rage. Otherwise, I may have hated my brother from that point on, and I never want that.

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Pain

This feeling I have, this pain in my head.
My only wish, for him to be dead.
This thought is not right, it's terribly wrong.
He pushed me that far, almost for so long.

My heart is not pure, I know that for fact.
And this pain of mine, is near that to act.
My intentions are wrong, my actions unjust.
And if I let them, they will make him dust.

I refuse to give in, I will give them fight.
As long as I can sleep through the night.
If they get me hold, and never let go,
I cannot describe just how I will blow.

My head is in hurt, my fists are now clenched.
I cannot stand but sit on this bench.
These thoughts cloud my mind and won't let me see.
They keep others far, and won't let me be.

My command of silence is starting to slip.
My voice of reason is out with one drip.
My eyes are now red and yet not near dry
As I calmly type this poem and cry.

My head is full of my thoughts of the past.
And how they torment my soul at long last.
Games give quick grief, but pale in long run.
I just might soon snap if this is not done.

My face is of the apple in spring.
But nothing is good about what it bring.
My thoughts are now grim, and those you should dread.
This feeling I have, this pain in my head.

This poem was written about 2-3 weeks after the last one. I had gotten some good comments from "Pain" and had decided to write more poetry, to see if I could improve my writing. Considering "Pain" was the first poem I had written since fifth grade, I felt I could do a lot better, with practice. So, I decided to try out different styles. Luckily, I had two creative writing classes that year, so I had ampule opportunity to write.

This poem is a bit more freestyle than what I had ever done at the time. There are no stanzas, no set rhyming scheme apart from the usual AA, BB, CC style. It is one big block of lines, but I refuse to change it from its original format, so I apologize if you lose your place while reading. This was not done for any class... I think... but my teacher liked how it came out, and so did I.

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Through Another's Eyes

You never know, through your own view, if things will go your way
If time will stop, no tears will drop, or if you’re friends today
You know only of your pity, and of eyes all your own
You go about your daily sweat, and ponder ‘round and drone
Your breath is deep, your stare is cold, and you yourself don’t see
How man could walk around and talk of things not meant to be
You never know how things will go restrained by balls and chains
While stuck inside your own vessel, while left out in the rain
You see a course that none would take and still you follow suit
Through all the rain and all the pain, but not finding you’re lute
To see not now but off your brow, the path to where you seek
The truth you want is in new eyes, in those that are not bleak
Through other’s eyes, the world you know would be only a myth
Of lies you’ve heard, of visions blurred, of paths lead off the cliff
And now you see what you would bleed to see around your lies
Now truth is told for your own ears, now through another’s eyes

As March started to roll in, I started to practice my rhymes and styles more. As a result of my practicing, I came up with a rather... unique style to write in. The rhyming scheme of this poem is a bit tough to follow. It goes: ABCB, CABA, BCAC. Also, my topics started to venture farther from my reality and into one I can shape and mold.

The last poem was about how you look at things, and was only partially outside of my own life. This poem has nothing to do with me and offers a suggestion to others, don't give everything you have (your soul) to continue living, you will regret it. This is about when I started to become more philosophical, as well, which is why I had picked that topic. It might get a bit confusing to some people, but bare with it, it clears up toward the end.

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Eternity

No crime is worth the riches of life that you will lose
No sin so great to falter your floating on the breeze
But gateways only open for those not in the whole
For those few who wait and see what sets there in the trees

And for those who don’t grab fruit, sit with an empty bowl
Or trade what’s theirs for fortune and have fame in the news
Trade their lives without regret despite the common pleas
And when that deal is over they fall out with a rouse

This fate held for all of time makes you weak in the knees
You’ll enter into a place that burns without a coal
And for those without a choice, for life they are left clues
To escape into the light and leap over the hole

I too fell into this trap and also had to choose
Whether I would die slowly or be offered the wheeze
I took my breath and awoke next to that crimson pole
My fate was now behind me and would help if I please

With this help I reached my stop and my ultimate goal
And could stare into the sky, into those luscious blues
For years gone by I prospered and forgot about these
But my time is upon me, it’s time to end my cruise

The new owner is restless of letting my time freeze
So my essence is taken, and I become a troll
My life, no longer complete, my lose, permanent bruise
Never should have traded life, for my eternal soul

A few days after writing the last poem, inspiration hit again, in the form of power outages. I was sitting in school and the lights went off. Some classrooms had backup lights, most of them didn't. A lot of the rooms had windows, so they didn't need them. Under normal circumstances, the kids would be sent home because lessons could not continue... for some reason. However, no one got that reprieve because the lights came back on, then went off again. This continued all day and the "higher ups" didn't want to show weakness to the other local schools.

So, there I am, sitting in the dark. No one is teaching because you can't see anything, so the entire day is study hall, but you got to move to new rooms every hour or so. Thankfully, the bells still worked. So, in one class where I had nothing to do, I just started to write this poem. It was completely spontaneous, original, spur of the moment, and off the top of my head. There really isn't much more to say about it. Since I wasn't trying to do anything other than pass the time, there isn't anything fancy to this one.

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Darkness Falls

Darkness falls on those who need and those not yet with sense
Falls at times of least expect and least convenience
And without hope of return the lights begin to dim
And crowds would become restless and go out on a limb

Their boss has nothing for them keeping them all on track
And no one left to guard him from the still growing pack
The wind will not stop blowing and the night will not cease
And everyone not in shock will not respond to peace

If out for more than their time the day shall surely end
The work is all but over and nearly time to mend
A flash of light fills all rooms and dims back for a time
If all stays well and ordered the bells begin to chime

This light refused to falter but shone with newfound might
As workers continued on into the endless night
The storm was rather messy and pulled at power lines
Its hope to let the men go and leave without the fines

Lights began to dim again to dark eternity
If out for long hours passed then work would need to flee
Time passes on with little haste and serves to no avail
But surely it will pass soon and end now with their bail

The bell tolls for workday’s death and men began to tell
Of certain hopes with weather and now leaving their cell
Upon their early exit the sky begins to clear
And men see power still out and now drive home in cheer

Not much to say about this one. Basically, I had said some things to a friend and, looking back on them, realized what I had done. As my way of saying I was sorry, I wrote this poem and e-mailed it. Yeah, I know, kinda cheesy, but it worked.

Some people found it interesting how I used some modern concepts, like e-mail, but since it was a real apology, and we really did talk through the e-mail, I saw no reason not to include it.

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Sorry

I still remember that day, that I was mean to you
The words I said were too harsh, and I hear them anew
I realize I don't deserve the feelings I now ask
But if I had but one chance, I would undo the task
I feel our friendship slipping, I cannot give quick fix
So I don't speak to you now, I will show you no tricks
I'm sorry for the scorning and soon hope you forgive
Though I know you no longer care if I still live
You won't answer my e-mails and won't give me a sign
But I hope you accept them and then drop me a line
I feel bad about that, I know your feeling's hurt
I'm sorry for my anger, because I feel like dirt
I will not fill you with lies of how I meant those things
Instead I give you justice, fly away with new wings
I don't expect forgiveness, but I will still go and dream
Of one day keeping you near and as friends we will gleam
I still hold onto your name, still thinking about you
How I manage to injure with everything I do
I'm sorry for my words, I can't stress that enough
You should still not permit me, for using words so rough
My last train home has left me out in this cold, dark rain
And you are inside all warm, but still feeling the pain
I feel as bad as you did, that moment without truth
Worse than feelings of pain like that pulled with the tooth
I don't believe I'm worthy of you accepting me
So I still try to make up my wrongings all times three
This tragic turn of events, I can't say I'm without
But I know you try to go and leave me here to shout
I'm calling out your name now, to see if you can hear
I need to know your feelings, although they may bring tear
Your true thoughts are all I want to know which way to go
If I should stay here longer or forced out of the glow
I will now end this hopeless cry of my own feeling
I will wait for your response that will come in the spring
I hope you read this message, and understand my plea
Now with all of my passion, I say, I am sorry

The date is not when I wrote this poem, rather, when I decided to post it online for the first time. Since I don't know when I wrote it, other than during school, I must use what dates I do have.

We were studying 'Found Poetry' in class and the teacher decided we needed to write an example for ourselves. Basically, you look around the room and pick out different words or phrases that stand out to you and put them into a poem. In my case, every line is a new thing I found, and I decided to repeat a line to make an ending.

That's about it. The first line fueled the rest. Got an A, by the way.

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Weighed

My world will continue to be black
Emerson poetry stuff
Revered Nature
How bright do you shine?
Stressed individualism
Focus on... beliefs
Focused on the human spirit
Relationship
Humanity
spirituality
Deep faith in
A universal soul
My world will continue to be black