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The Cat / English Dictionary - Printable Version

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The Cat / English Dictionary - DerVVulfman - 09-22-2011

Okay, guys. I didn't make this one up. I found it online.

Cat Phrase
Meaning
========
========
miaow
Feed me.
meeow
Pet me.
mrooww
I love you.
miioo-oo-oo
I am in love and must meet my betrothed outside beneath the hedge. Don't wait up.
mrow
I feel like making noise.
rrrow-mawww
Please, the time is come to tidy the cat box.
rrrow-miawww
I have remedied the cat box untidiness by shoveling the contents as far out of the box as was practical.
miaowmiaow
Play with me.
miaowmioaw
Have you noticed the shortage of available cat toys in this room?
mioawmioaw
Since I can find nothing better to play with, I shall see what happens when I sharpen my claws on this handy piece of furniture.
raowwwww
I think I shall now spend time licking the most private parts of my anatomy.
mrowwwww
I am now recalling, with sorrow, that some of my private parts did not return with me from that visit to the vet.
roww-maww-roww
I am so glad to see that you have returned home with both arms full of groceries. I will now rub myself against your legs and attempt to trip you as you walk towards the kitchen.
mmeww
I believe I have heard a burglar. If you would like to go and beat him senseless, I shall be happy to keep your spot in the bed warm.
gakk-ak-ak
My digestive passages seem to have formed a hairball. Wherever could this have come from? I shall leave it here upon the carpeting.
mow
Snuggling is a good idea.
moww
Shedding is pretty good, too.
mowww!
I was enjoying snuggling and shedding in the warm clean laundry until you removed me so unkindly.
miaow! miaow!
I have discovered that, although one may be able to wedge his body through the gap behind the stove and into that little drawer filled with pots and pans, the reverse path is slightly more difficult to navigate.
mraakk!
Oh, small bird! Please come over here.
ssssroww!
I believe that I have found a woodchuck. I shall now act terribly brave.
mmmmmmm
If I sit in the sunshine for another week or so, I think I shall be satisfied.



RE: The Cat / English Dictionary - cosmickitty - 09-22-2011

How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?

Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?

Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.

Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!

Rottweiler: Make me.

Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.

Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!

German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.

Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.

Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb!

Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.

Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.

Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there.....

Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?

Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle...

Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

Cat: "Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the real question is: How long will it be before I can expect some light, some dinner, and
a massage?"

RE: The Cat / English Dictionary - MetalRenard - 09-22-2011

OMG <3
I have 3 of those dogs, and my cats never shut up.

RE: The Cat / English Dictionary - DerVVulfman - 09-23-2011

Ooh. Me Likey!

My turn... and again, I didn't come up with these.
Strict, unbending rules for dealing with stray cats
  1. Stray cats will not be fed.
  2. Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food.
  3. Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food moistened with a little milk.
  4. Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food moistened with warm milk, yummy treats and leftover fish scraps.
  5. Stray cats will not be encouraged to make this house their permanent residence.
  6. Stray cats will not be petted, played with or picked up and cuddled unnecessarily.
  7. Stray cats that are petted, played with, picked up and cuddled will absolutely not be given a name.
  8. Stray cats with or without a name will not be allowed inside the house at any time.
  9. Stray cats will not be allowed inside the house except at certain times.
  10. Stray cats will not be allowed inside the house except on days ending in "y".
  11. Stray cats allowed inside will not be permitted to jump up on or sharpen their claws on the furniture.
  12. Stray cats will not be permitted to jump up on, or sharpen claws on the really good furniture.
  13. Stray cats will be permitted on all furniture but must sharpen claws on new $114.99 sisal-rope cat-scratching post with three perches.
  14. Stray cats will answer the call of nature outdoors in the sand.
  15. Stray cats will answer the call of nature in the three-piece, high-impact plastic tray filled with Fresh'n'Sweet kitty litter.
  16. Stray cats will answer the call of nature in the hooded litter pan with a three-panel privacy screen and plenty of head room.
  17. Stray cats will sleep outside.
  18. Stray cats will sleep in the garage.
  19. Stray cats will sleep in the house.
  20. Stray cats will sleep in a cardboard box lined with an old blanket.
  21. Stray cats will sleep in the special Kitty-Komfort-Bed with non-allergenic lambs wool pillow.
  22. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed.
  23. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed, except at the foot.
  24. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed under the covers.
  25. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed under the covers except at the foot.
  26. Stray cats will not make the spouse choose to sleep somewhere else for lack of space.
  27. Stray cats will not play on the desk.
  28. Stray cats will not play on the desk near the computer.
  29. Stray cats must be on the operators lap if near the computer.
  30. Stray cats not be allowed to sleep on the monitor.
  31. Stray cats must not leave their tail dangling over the screen when asleep on the monitor.
  32. Stray cats ujh;-= will not sleep on ;;;;;;;;;;; the keybo]]]]]]]]]ard.
  33. Stray cats are forbidden to walk on the computer keyboard on the desk when the human is asdfjjhhkl;ljfd.;oier' puyykmm4hbdm9lo9j using it.


RE: The Cat / English Dictionary - cosmickitty - 09-23-2011

hmm... that must be old of a kitty can sleep on the monitor :P

[Image: cat_jokes.jpg]

RE: The Cat / English Dictionary - Agckuu Coceg - 09-25-2011