This will not be the beginning of a heroic story as usual, my dear readers, because what we have to report this time might disappoint you right away. In fact, it should lead you to think we have become some rogue agents of sorts, and there is only four reasons why we strongly believed this.

We had fallen in some kind of dimensional wormhole and after a long travel we had finally reached another alternate world. This one would soon become the real hell’s kitchen, in our humble opinion at least. How can we be so darn sure about such a thing? Well, perhaps a bulletin board’s poster would explain it to you a lot better than any of us could ever do it so let us take a peek on it now.

“Wanted Dead or Alive!

Melana

alias Meowlana alias Dream Robber alias Sleeping Witch

Bounty: 1,000 crowns”

People were also expected to contact the Sapphire Guards or even Lady Amaranth herself at any time, including under a heavy rain, a terrifying tornado or a blinding snowstorm. Nope, she was not the only party member that had some minuscule issues with the local or royal authorities. Actually all of us we involved in similar situations.

If you could ask any of our pursuers why were they chasing us down madly, they would certainly come up with slightly similar stories on what evil deeds we had done to one of the four kingdoms we had visited unwillingly. In my very personal case, your servitor the brave knight who wields the famous Aster Blade had been compared with an insidious black knight hated by every single citizen of Relishia.

Honestly, I seriously suspect many of us would truly prefer to be looking for the legendary and slippery City of Yore instead of becoming the worst offenders in this world’s recent history. Or were we the perfect scapegoats they badly needed to justify their latest war?

Now that I think about it, I forgot to tell you why our partner Melana was a infamous criminal. It was something very simple to understand, her sudden appearance in the Dusk of Time Hill caused the sixty three year old ruler of the witchdom to go mad and suffer a killer stroke. So we can easily conclude they considered our sleepy girl had committed a regicide of sorts there. Due to her dreaming attitude she was arrested in no time by her army.

Mel had spent about a month in prison, but I really doubt we could say she suffered a lot during her stay in a cell with a comfy pillow and a very warm blanket. Did I forget to add here that her foam was very appealing for a tired and lazy girl like her? No?

So now guess how did she get out of that dungeon. Got no stupid idea!? Well, I cannot blame you for it, who would ever imagine the poor black knight of Relishia would be the culprit according to the middle aged heir to the Moon Witchdom’s throne.

According to that lunatic or a very opportunistic politician, I was conspiring against my very own kingdom when I hired some unknown cult that I knew nothing about. Heck, they had ceased to exist long before both nations were ever founded. So how exactly would I get in touch with the Sky Tower cultists at all?

After half a year investigation and the demises of some good friends of mine, I had learned that they had been blamed for causing an earthquake so massive, so destructive that divided the whole world with the unexpected emergence of new oceans and large lakes in ancient times. Some of them were made of water as usual but there was one that consisted of burning tar that had been active for half a millennium, destroying the magical empire of Babyl.

If you ask me, I deeply doubt that could have taken place for over a month or so. You see, it obviously sounds a lot like a variant of the Babylonian empire to any outsider that carefully listens to it for the very first time.

By the way, the witchdom is supposed to be its spiritual successor. Creepy, is it not, guys?

There was something unusual that got me confused for quite some time. It was the name of one of the soldiers that were assigned to the special army in charge of arresting your servitor, Kyonides. And his name was Sean.

Yeah, I know, at first that should not ring any bell but wait till you learn the next weird fact. He is the very same guy that had become one of the lead characters of my story The Worlds We Have Left Behind. That young man was supposed to be nothing but a game character that managed to show up in a novel by chance, still, he was there, pretty much alive, breathing the same air as everybody else in that darn world. Besides Sean seemed to know quite a bit about us, too. What the heck was happening there, right guys?

“Lights out, scumbags!” an unbearable guard exclaimed out of the blue.

Do you want to know why am I talking about a guard now? He, he, it happens to be a funny story indeed. There was a poor guy out there that one day could not tolerate his aching belly anymore and decided to take a few loaves of bread and some small chunk of cheese home, with the clear intention of paying for them later on, of course. I can also happily state right here and right now that not even the jailer has ever suspected that he might be better known as the new black knight of Relishia. Applause.

You got to wait till next evening to watch me write a new chapter of this strange otherworldly odyssey of ours. Or maybe not, I forgot that I am running out of paper or pelt or whatever this sheet is actually made of.

To be on hiatus!  

Let us talk about what happened to our fellow adventurer Wulfo, the hybrid or tribrid or whatever you want to call that creep. Instead of appearing in the twisted kingdom of Relishia like your servitor or the eerie Moon Witchdom like Melana did, he was somewhere else. What makes it unbearable is that he was free to travel to any place at any time, just because. We were trapped but he could spend his days eating vegetables all day long. Really, you should definitely hate that guy.

I know, right now I should focus on what had transpired in the last six months. Yet, I warn you that somehow you will end up despising him. Do not take me at my word, just keep reading and draw your very own conclusions. Something makes me think you will wind up agreeing with me and demand his head to be cut off at once.

While Melana and your servitor were treated like petty criminals, he had become the real gangster here. Seriously, I mean every single word of mine, guys. That werewolf was playing in the big leagues. Fine, he was no king nor duke nor chancellor for sure. Nevertheless, he was like the fourth or fifth most important public figure in Cisylvannia, the Sheriff of Lupresti. Now do not complain about not having warned you about how weird this world actually is!

At this point you might want to learn about why the county of Lupresti has a relevance in that sort of kingdom, and that is quite understandable indeed. Basically it is one of the richest regions of the phantasmagorical Cisylvannia, its gold reserves should exceed the two thousand ingots limit usually established by any royal treasury according to Relishian sources.

We have not confirmed it as of today but rumors spread wide concerning the county possessing a golden totem or a similar artifact that would multiply precious metals like crazy. Thanks to its misty barriers or magical detours, nobody has ever reached the county town to even make a drawing of its valuable treasure. Nope, not even the black knight.

Right after the arrest of Stinky Old Fart, an one eyed guy they hat beaten for misconduct at some local tavern, many of us learned how some Wolf or Wulfy had become an agent of the Red Full Moon Army. It is a well known organization used to making quite excessive demands to their targets, kidnapping pets like calico cats and cat girls, or they simply show up one day in your county and burn a town to ashes just for fun or lack of patience.

What makes it even worse in my humble opinion is the nonsensical fact that he had already been ascended to the rank of captain. This should be impossible for a newcomer unless he had committed some heinous crimes in the last couple of months, don’t you think?

The only thing that makes it sound credible is that he got to bear his new companion all day long. I am talking about a flying creature with a stubborn tail that could probably be that bothersome dragonfly Silly. Well, at least that Old Fart’s description lead me to think it could not be anybody else but her, he, he. Though I cannot really explain how she could have left Alex and a desperate otherworldly gamer behind just like that. Once again this alternate world is full of mysteries…

Stinky also showed us last night how that extremely dangerous pet had almost killed him after he had stolen her favorite toy, some green apple she had collected in the woods by chance. It seems those dragonflies do not eat apples. I am ninety percent convinced she got to be that pesky Silly!

Here is where Wreck Hogan, the fearsome zombie killer, entered the scene to tell his weird tale. By some unknown means he got a tip from one of his victims. He claimed that the Red Full Moon Army was planning to attack a border city of our kingdom before winter had ended.

I was in need of meditating on this for a couple of hours. It really sounded weird for I had never seen a single snow crystal falling down in my travels. So I guess that for the time being I can only suspect that such a city is located quite far to the north of this dungeon and is surrounded by a snowy mountain range. Why would that wolf’s pack ever pick such a remote and seemingly insignificant location as their next target?

“Mock of a knight, get out of your cell! I said now!” the unbearable guard ordered all of sudden.

While I was focused on telling you our stories sitting on the floor of my comfortable suite, that guy interrupted me and made another guard open the door quickly. Somehow I was there, free to go anywhere just as that smelly bag of dog fleas. I mean, I was no longer guilty of stealing bread and cheese. Obviously, it was hard to believe from the very beginning.

This place looks pretty much like a middle age kingdom where the law was rewritten at will by those nefarious nobles I despise. Even so they had forgotten everything in a blink of an eye. Or is life never that easy, my dear readers? By the way, another guard was leading me to their storage room to pick up my belongings.

“So is this the infamous man Kyonides? Is he truly the dreadful black knight?” some forty year old guy asked us then.

“Yes, sir! This is your man indeed” the sweating guard replied at once.

“What the hell is going on here?” I mumbled while looking around trying to find that mysterious visitor somewhere.

Finally that guy decided it was about time to reveal himself by drawing closer and closer to the torches. The slightly fat male was wearing some fancy clothing as he were some darn nobleman.

“Wow! I am afraid time is manner just as the treasure hunters often say” the middle aged man exclaimed as if he were running late.

Quite strange. We had never met before and yet, he was trying to put me under a lot of pressure as if it were my fault and not his that we had not left the dungeon half an hour ago or so. What was his stupid plan? To lead me to worse place than my cold cell?

“So what am I supposed to say now?” I inquired of him. “At your service!?”

“My goodness! It is good to hear that, poor peasant!” the noble shouted joyfully. “Let us leave this obnoxious place and head to our quarters for the time is drawing near, as you might already know, black knight Kyonides.”

To be seen if I ever continue it!