His assistant Jade soon brought a medium sized box, it seemed to be sort of heavy for a woman. Three youngsters stared at it waiting for the moment when their host would finally reveal his true intentions. By the way, he had a very suspicious smirk on his face.

“Oh, take a look at that box! So what’s next?” a male asked Mr. Schrödinger in no time after he noticed the scientist was about to conduct an experiment of sorts.

Thunder. Electricity. A bothersome blackout. The office of a global leader had to be lit by several candles. Suddenly an usual visitor opened the future prime minister’s window that night. It had black feathers, a dark beak and what is the most important thing of all, it had a sinister motive.

“What are you, winged beast? What’s an animal doing here?” the politician inquired of his unexpected guest.

“Duh! Isn’t it obvious? Or are you telling me you’re blind and stupid?” the bird replied with its own set of questions.

“Huh? Are you telling me you’re the bird that had paid a visit to the crazed poet?” Mr. Higgins asked him in no time.

“That’s not for you to know, you moron!” the angry invader reacted.

By the way, my readers, this is exactly the point where the security guards entered the room to catch a spy hidden in a secret closet, the very same that had been used long time before to fool attackers in times of turmoil or unjustified rebellion.

“Now it’s obvious you’ve still got a lot to learn before ruling this land, my pupil” the raven commented showing his disappointment.

“What should we do with him, sir?” one of the guards questioned then.

“Err, take him to a cell, and make him talk one way or another” the next prime minister determined.

“What a fool! Who ever said you were their master at all?” the proud bird made a weird revelation. “I’m not scared of a pathetic wretch who foolishly thought that he had even a slight chance to kill this puppet of mine in my presence. Now be quick and behead him right where my other servants can see him die miserably!”

“Now I’ve come to realize how merciful you’ve been with your servitor” the so called leader of the nation confessed out of the blue.

“I’m the real deal here, it just happened you’re a slowpoke and preferred to ignore me the whole time, you know” the raven told him with a eerie tone. “Or else you’d have opened the window for me and serve me some fresh meat like eyeballs. Damn it! I love eyeballs for sure!”

“That’s not… true, I just couldn’t believe that-” the man answered before being interrupted.

“Cut the crap right away or I’ll peck you in your eye right here, right now!” the black bird commanded out of rage. “Darn idiot! How dare you enrage me like this with your petty excuses?”

“Perhaps we’d bring you the spy’s eyeballs as an offering…” the prime minister suggested.

“Don’t ever insult me ever again, you bloody bastard!” the raven yelled waving his wings furiously.

“Pardon me for not being wise enough as to come up with better ideas, it’s just that my mind can’t handle all of this pressure” the servant uttered.

“Obviously, my dear puppet! It’s your feathered benefactor here the only one ever capable of making you rise to a position of great power and everlasting glory!” the animal boasted of his amazing gifts.

The desperate Mr. Higgins realized he was screwed and bowed to the raven after a few moments. It was then that their dark pact was confirmed. From that moment on, he should simply follow the raven’s orders to the letter. And yes, the damned politician should also let him speak on his behalf if deemed necessary.

“Don’t feel bad about this, my petty servant!” the master tried to comfort him a little bit. “The time will come when you’ll be able to see me face to face, but first you got to convince the other nine knights of mine of the need to revive the Round Table once again.”

“When will that day come, my dark lord?” a surprised Higgins wanted to find out.

“The prince of Wales has announced my existence” the raven explained. “It took place during the climate conference as per my request, now all of the world leaders should be fully aware of the fact that I’m serious this time and ready to assume the global leadership this world has been secretly asking for since the days of my predecessor Nimrod.”

No matter how talkative the animal was, the future prime minister was still confused about his role in the future world. What would he get from all of it? Was a plethora of power and riches waiting for him anywhere as he had always dreamed about for decades as a political activist?

“Didn’t I tell you that you had to stop thinking such nonsense? Did I?” his evil lord rebuked him. “Now listen to me very carefully, silly boy. Make sure all of my ten servants get ready to give all of their power and strength to your beloved master at the next United Nations general assembly.”

“Yes, my dark lord! Your bidding will be done in no time, I can guarantee!” his knight promised.

“So be it! Yet, be careful, my friend” the raven warned him. “For I’m failure intolerant, if you know what I mean by that.”

“Of course I do, my master! It’s crystal clear” the scared prime minister responded.

Yours truly,

the battery

Back in the days or perhaps in 2005, there was a young wannabe hero called Aluxes Akage who had a big dream. He would be famous enough as to found his own company of heroic explorers that would help him expand his glorious kingdom. Then one day it would stretch from the eastern sea to the far western coasts of the known world.

There was no problem he could not solve, no error he could not correct just in time. Well, except for the fact that the day had come when he simply trashed his real name and started calling himself Alex Crimson. The very few that ever dared to ask him about the origin of his nickname regretted it, they had heard him say that crim meant red and just added the suffix son as his way to claim he was the son of the red (sun?). At the end nobody knew for certain whether he was proud of his ancient Asian heritage or not.

A new morning had begun. Our friend Alex woke up, washed his face leaving his hair practically untouched and uncombed. Later he picked some soba for breakfast just because.

“I won’t miss this dish for I’ll be traveling all around the world dating their beautiful women and tasting their delicious food” he exclaimed as if he badly needed some convincing to finally get out of his paternal home.

Out of the blue a man knocked on his door. Aluxes had no intention to open it ever for he knew very well who that guy was, the blacksmith that had carved a wooden sword as per his request. Oh and poor Akage had forgotten to mention he had no single copper coin left in his pockets. So there was no other choice but opening his bedroom’s window and climb down the wall while trying to remain silent the whole time.

Instead of leaving town for good, he waited until the blacksmith had returned back home and picked the wooden sword once he had confirmed that his good friend had left the weapon at the workshop. Do not ever think Alex would dare to steal such a thing ever! He was just picking up what was rightfully his from the very beginning.

What a fateful day it was when he had finally reached the outskirts! Akage seemed to rejoice, feeling the urge to start his heroic venture at once. Fame and riches and even lots of cute girls were right there for the grabs!

“Seriously, for many years I had no idea what regret actually meant till the day I met him” once stated his closest friend Basil Lancet.

Nope, do not even feel bad if you do not understand what he was talking about. In fact, not even Basil did for he was still processing all of their misadventures in his troubled head.

“I can still recall the day when I was assigned to babysit a darn noble girl that thought it was cute to see her little dinosaur like pet go for walk and enter that darn cave!” the young lancer told us.

What happened next is mostly unclear due to his partial amnesia, but there he was. Some young man that kept calling himself an experienced adventurer wielding a wooden sword but no buckler. And who was that candid girl with such a lousy pet? Guess what? She was a blondie named Gloria Holywaters and she would be forced by her evil parents to train as a cleric at the end of that long forgotten summer.

At first neither Alex nor Basil ever understood why she would ever hate her family until they heard some terrible truth that Gloria herself had just recently heard about.

“It’s because of my teacher. How the hell... Pardon me for cursing” Mrs. Holywaters continued. “How could they ever pick Hilda Maier the Purple as my personal teacher at the academy!? She’s a witch! How could they simply ignore that? Was it that hard just to let the principal pick a teacher for me on their own?”

Here it is where the story goes awry. The three of them had entered the cavern while pursuing Lady Gloria’s obnoxious pet and failed to notice there was a lizard calmly laying on the ground. Well, being honest with you, it was not a simple lizard but a salamander!

Of course Aluxes made his only attempt to defend her with his sword, only to watch how it burned like charcoal. At the same time his buddy Basil was growing desperate for he had not felt the need to carry his heavy spear to protect the young lady. Excluding its small blade at one end, the staff would have vanished just a few seconds after Akage’s weapon had been reduced to ashes. Everything looked quite ugly, as if they were not supposed to ever tell their saddening tale at the nearest tavern later that evening.

Do you remember that Hilda the Purple was Lady Holywaters’s teacher? I guess they were lucky to find out that while they all had closed their eyes waiting for the inevitable, dear Hilda saved the day! As curious as it sounds, that witch has never revealed a single piece of information on how exactly did she get rid of such a fiery opponent in a matter of minutes.

Yes, my dear readers, I know very well that she is a famous wizard or sort of, yet, that does not explain how she could have ever defeated such a powerful foe with such an ease. How weird!

Hopefully!

The End... for the time being that is!