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BISQUE (/thread-8613.html)BISQUE - DerVVulfman - 12-21-2022
Trust me guys, I didn't come up with this.
I got this from a youtube video recounting pen-n-paper RPG stories.
Unfortunately, no names were attributed.
Bisque
This was from a homebrew campaign from many, many years ago, and likely doesn't fit standard wild-magic rules.
I'll try to remember as best as I can.
Our party consisted of three player characters: a human thief, a human cleric, and me, a half-elf ranger. We also had supporting NPCs in our party: a dwarf fighter, an elven druid, and the star of the story: a were-rat wild mage named Pilar.
We were visiting an underground dwarven village that was dealing with monsters that resided deeper in the cave, and we were tasked to investigate. A few hours treck into the cavern led us to a huge room that was bowl shaped. After sliding down into the basin, we were immediately enaged by giant, sentient mushrooms the size of oak trees.
Needless to say, we were taking a beating.
When Pilar's first turn came around, our DM made a few rolls for Wild Magic, signed, and then banged his face into the table a few times.
He didn't immediately describe the spell. He didn't even describe Pilar's actions. He just waggled his fingers, thrust them forward, and screamed "LOBSTER!"
I don't know how or why, or even if it was legal since it was a homebrew campaign. But Pilar summoned a giant lobster the size of a Boeing 747, which began wreaking havoc on everything around it. During the confusion, we managed to make it back to our climbing ropes and escape the basin while the lobster was swinging at everything in its sight.
During its rampage, the lobster slammed into the wall of the cave, which happened to be behind a large reservoir of water. Now the lobster and all of the sentient mushrooms were swimming in this giant basin.
And that's when our dwarf, Bordelot, who was built like a tank and had the brains of one, decided to toss something into the water. I'm not sure what it was after all these years, but I think it was a magma stone of some kind.
Instantly, the water began to boil, the lobster was instantly flash-cooked, and the mushrooms, as described by the DM were 'magically delicious'.
The dwarves, though confused, were eternally grateful for no only our solving of the monster problem, but also feeding their village for the next fifty or so years.
In short, we went into the caves to deal with monsters, and wound up feeding an entire village for life with lobster-mushroom bisque.
I'll try to remember as best as I can.
Our party consisted of three player characters: a human thief, a human cleric, and me, a half-elf ranger. We also had supporting NPCs in our party: a dwarf fighter, an elven druid, and the star of the story: a were-rat wild mage named Pilar.
We were visiting an underground dwarven village that was dealing with monsters that resided deeper in the cave, and we were tasked to investigate. A few hours treck into the cavern led us to a huge room that was bowl shaped. After sliding down into the basin, we were immediately enaged by giant, sentient mushrooms the size of oak trees.
Needless to say, we were taking a beating.
When Pilar's first turn came around, our DM made a few rolls for Wild Magic, signed, and then banged his face into the table a few times.
{Head-Desk} *THUD*
"A Nat 20?"
{Head-Desk} *THUD*
He didn't immediately describe the spell. He didn't even describe Pilar's actions. He just waggled his fingers, thrust them forward, and screamed "LOBSTER!"
I don't know how or why, or even if it was legal since it was a homebrew campaign. But Pilar summoned a giant lobster the size of a Boeing 747, which began wreaking havoc on everything around it. During the confusion, we managed to make it back to our climbing ropes and escape the basin while the lobster was swinging at everything in its sight.
During its rampage, the lobster slammed into the wall of the cave, which happened to be behind a large reservoir of water. Now the lobster and all of the sentient mushrooms were swimming in this giant basin.
And that's when our dwarf, Bordelot, who was built like a tank and had the brains of one, decided to toss something into the water. I'm not sure what it was after all these years, but I think it was a magma stone of some kind.
Instantly, the water began to boil, the lobster was instantly flash-cooked, and the mushrooms, as described by the DM were 'magically delicious'.
The dwarves, though confused, were eternally grateful for no only our solving of the monster problem, but also feeding their village for the next fifty or so years.
In short, we went into the caves to deal with monsters, and wound up feeding an entire village for life with lobster-mushroom bisque.