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Dream Fantasy (/thread-959.html)Dream Fantasy - Yerry Great - 12-13-2009
Content Hidden
![[Image: DreamFantasyLogo.png]](http://i251.photobucket.com/albums/gg293/reijubv/DreamFantasyLogo.png)
DREAM FANTASY
- W.I.P -
Foreword
Hi ... I am a new member here. Now, I want to post my game here.
Engine
RPG Maker VX - Enterbrain
Story Line
Ten years ago, Auron Miracle, leader of nation's research company. He planned to create a special brew that can heal any kinds of disease. But his assistance has another plan. He wants to stop Auron. He kills Auron and ran away taking all the brews on the research company. He was gone without trace untill now. Heiro Miracle, son of Auron, wants to revenge to his father's murderer. Now, Heiro has grown up, He helps his mother everyday.
Suddenly, there's a large assault from neighbour nation. All the civilians were slaughtered. But, Heiro was succeeded in escape from this assault. This is the start of Heiro's adventure ~
Character
- Heiro Miracle, 15 y.o, Swordsman
- Reserved
- Reserved
- Reserved
Screenshot
Content Hidden
![[Image: battle3.png]](http://img502.imageshack.us/img502/835/battle3.png)
![[Image: battle1l.png]](http://img710.imageshack.us/img710/144/battle1l.png)
![[Image: battle2.png]](http://img704.imageshack.us/img704/6406/battle2.png)
![[Image: airterjunriunia.png]](http://img255.imageshack.us/img255/4165/airterjunriunia.png)
Credit
- Reijubv - Title Screen, Translator
- Wora - Neo Save System III
- Refmap FSM Tekopon - Tileset
- Kaduki - Charset & Faceset
- modern algebra - Message Script
- dnasman, droneseven, Atsavin - betatester
Sorry my english not so good
Please comment
Dream Fantasy - computerwizoo7 - 12-13-2009
ok, you should read over your story because it has a lot of grammar errors, anyway the story don't seem to be leading the reader anywhere either.
Dream Fantasy - Alpha-Mad - 12-13-2009
I have to agree with computer.
I really can't even judge or comment on the storyline yet because I'm having a hard time understanding your English. Do you have someone who can proofread and edit your language? That might be your best bet. Also, some screenshots would help but you said you are going to post some tomorrow so no big deal.
Dream Fantasy - Yerry Great - 12-14-2009
@Wizoo & Alpha
Sorry about that. I'll change it later. Give me a few hours.
Dream Fantasy - computerwizoo7 - 12-14-2009
OK!
Make sure that you make it interesting so can give you some good advice!
Dream Fantasy - Yerry Great - 12-14-2009
Story Updated
Sorry my english not so good
Dream Fantasy - computerwizoo7 - 12-14-2009
Wiz Compiler:
these are the errors you have:
leader of nation's research company. He planned to
error
Expected "They" but found "He" (if yo are saying that it was a loner idea anot h entire company going after that goal)
brews on the research company.
error
Expected "in" but found "on"
without trace untill now.
syntax error
suggest using "a"
Heiro Miracle, son of Auron, wants to revenge to his father's murderer
error
syntax error
Expected "avenge" but found "revenge to"
suggest removing "'s murderer"
He helps his mother everyday.
runtime error
suggest removing unnecessary text
Suddenly, there's a large assault from neighbour nation. All the civilians were slaughtered. But, Heiro was succeeded in escape from this assault. This is the start of Heiro's adventure ~
syntax error
suggest using "a leader of nation's research company. He planned to
error
Expected "They" but found "He" (if yo are saying that it was a loner idea anot h entire company going after that goal)
brews on the research company.
error
Expected "in" but found "on"
without trace untill now.
syntax error
suggest using "a"
Heiro Miracle, son of Auron, wants to revenge to his father's murderer
error
syntax error
Expected "avenge" but found "revenge to"
suggest removing "'s murderer"
He helps his mother everyday.
runtime error
suggest removing unnecessary text
Suddenly, there's a large assault from neighbour nation. All the civilians were slaughtered. But, Heiro was succeeded in escape from this assault. This is the start of Heiro's adventure ~
error
Expected "a neighbor" but found " neighbour"
suggest removing "." from slaughtered
suggest removing "was"
Expected "escaping" but found "escape"
compile ended with unsuccessful build!
Dream Fantasy - explocion200 - 12-14-2009
were can i get the demo
Dream Fantasy - Jaberwocky - 12-15-2009
computerwizoo7 Wrote:Wiz Compiler:
these are the errors you have:
...
I think perhaps you should lern2gramer yourself before attempting to correct someone else's.
Also try doing it in a way that makes sense and doesn't look like a trainwreck.
Dream Fantasy - computerwizoo7 - 12-15-2009
lol!
guess so... !_!