What's on your mind?

[yamina-chan]

My Steam-Friendlist has been empty ever since I first installed it XD'

As per Topic: there have been many things on my mind lately. Especially something that has me starting to worry and be scared, once I realized it.
Some of you may know that I am undergoing a schooling for my chosen job at the moment, and hopefully will continue untill summer 2014. This of courlse involves work and effort and results in schoolgrades that will determine if I will make it or not. I love what I am doing and I worked hard to get the chance I currently have and I am happy about it. And yet...it has come to my attention that I have stopped caring if I do good or bad in something.
I don't know when or why this started but I know that I don't like it.
When I was told by one of my teatchers that I my grades in one particular subject are quite in the dangerzone I agreed, promissed to try and do better and didn't care. When I got the best possible grade in a performance in an other subject whith a teacher that is hard to please I smiled happily, said "Thanks!" and before the lesson was over I no longer cared.
And there have been other moments as well.
Ever since I realized this, there has been a pattern. I check my notes for something that needs to be done, don't feel like doing anything of it and wander off to do something else, realize my attitude, become paniced, rush back and work for it on a while, get angry or dissapointed -or sometimes simply bored- with my results, decide that I no longer care and wander off again. Repeat. Eventually I ignroe all thoughts of it and focus on something entirely else without beeing able to enjoy it properly.
I know I can't continue like this, especially since I do NOT want to fail this chance, or myself. I am, however, at a loss on how to solve this problem.
The fact that we had to read a text the other day about something verry similar and the fact that I need to write something on the subject as homework isn't really helping either.