How is this battle theme and need help "Phrasing"

[MetalRenard]

Watch out of clashing notes (0:22 for example). Try separating those strings a bit (make the high ones higher, simply take them up an octave). The last part of the song doesn't match the beginning part, there's no continuity. Maybe you need to keep the strings going and slow the bass down (the sudden change in speed is jarring).

The first part is definitely a step forward in the sense that you've got two different things happening at once that compliment each other.