What's on your mind?

[Kain Nobel]

Been running Linux the past few days. Currently setting up a proper development environment.

The five year mark of my sobriety date (2009-09-09) is just a few days away. Should be more excited, but I'm not. Quite frankly, I miss drunk Kain, he was a brilliant dude who always kept busy. Sober Kain just goes to work, comes home, sits on his ass at a computer and it makes me sick. Drunk Kain would put his mind to something, do it, and it'd be DONE. Sober Kain... not so much :/

I guess self hatred is part of the healing process. I wish I was still as productive as I used to be, but without the substance. Heck, I didn't even know what depression was until I got sober, now depression and I are BFFs.

My avatar? I think I was drunk when I took the reference picture. Sober Kain drew it out as pixel art since that is what he's good at. Drunk Kain, on the other hand, was more pragmatically inclined. There are things that he understood that my sober mind has trouble understanding. The only thing the two have in common is they both know how to compose music, but I'm not really sure which one is better at it than the other. I do know Drunk Kain was one hell of a guitar player though. Sweet Home Alabama, Stairway to Heaven, Sweet Child O Mine? He taught himself, custom tunings and all. Sober Kain tries to imitate but falls short of playing anything other people can enjoy, it's kind of pathetic.

Drunk Kain had a band and actually went out to play live a couple times. Everything was going great until Mr. Shitty Guitar Player, aka Sober Kain, came in and ruined it all!

Good times ^_^