09-30-2014, 05:13 AM
there's a lot of gay porn floating through the air around your body right now.
sometimes bees land on you and you don't feel it, so you never know when it happens.
i'm glad whoever was caveman in charge decided cows should be for milk because it easily could have been possums.
the symetry of nature means your random ass-itch is a million microscopic bugs running from a poonami.
the first person to live to 150yrs is already alive.
europeans are often russian to the bathroom.
fuck mannequins. it's not hard to be skinny when you dont have a head.
the six million dollar man should have played the lottery.
the fastest way to find the right answer to something is to post your opinion on it
why do we have shirtsleeves and pantlegs instead of shirtarms and pantsleeves?
why do we put shirts in dressers, dresses in closets, and get dressed in bathrooms where we take showers?
people who can't swim join the navy.
i want to see someone pull a fire alarm at ikea. not on purpose, but because they think it's the handle to some kind of cabinet.
a libertarian's idea of trick or treating is putting a gumball machine on their porch.
tool shed sounds like you lost a hammer.
the packers consistantly beating the bears is the only reason most people even live in green bay.
dogs are like autistic kids with megaphones.
whenever i get telemarketing calls about raising business capital, i tell them i want a loan to start a ufo suicide cult.
every bug you've ever killed, and every burger you've ever eaten are going to waiting for you in hell.
when you were a kid you got bedhead. when you're an adult, you get bed head.
do you think you remember you already lived your life when it flashes before your eyes?
i'm scared that i'm reliving my life from right before i die, but actually i'm more scared that the more i get to know me, the more likely i could be mauled to death by a bear at any second.
i like to think up scenarios where i die, and then do everything i can to avoid them. wanna see my walk in meat grinder? and i say no, i'm not grassfed, i'm too high in cholesterol, my mom drank when she was pregnant, and 20 years ago, dahmer didn't have to put up with any of that shit. where did it come from?
children are responsible for 100% of abortions
im gonna write a book called theres waldo- at the carnival, at beach, on the space station.
the marine's asvab only has two questions in peacetime: 2+2=4, and the first letter of the alphabet is b, i got one wrong but still passed. in wartime, it's what's your name and shoesize?
i dont vote because im not qualified to assign leadership.
sometimes bees land on you and you don't feel it, so you never know when it happens.
i'm glad whoever was caveman in charge decided cows should be for milk because it easily could have been possums.
the symetry of nature means your random ass-itch is a million microscopic bugs running from a poonami.
the first person to live to 150yrs is already alive.
europeans are often russian to the bathroom.
fuck mannequins. it's not hard to be skinny when you dont have a head.
the six million dollar man should have played the lottery.
the fastest way to find the right answer to something is to post your opinion on it
why do we have shirtsleeves and pantlegs instead of shirtarms and pantsleeves?
why do we put shirts in dressers, dresses in closets, and get dressed in bathrooms where we take showers?
people who can't swim join the navy.
i want to see someone pull a fire alarm at ikea. not on purpose, but because they think it's the handle to some kind of cabinet.
a libertarian's idea of trick or treating is putting a gumball machine on their porch.
tool shed sounds like you lost a hammer.
the packers consistantly beating the bears is the only reason most people even live in green bay.
dogs are like autistic kids with megaphones.
whenever i get telemarketing calls about raising business capital, i tell them i want a loan to start a ufo suicide cult.
every bug you've ever killed, and every burger you've ever eaten are going to waiting for you in hell.
when you were a kid you got bedhead. when you're an adult, you get bed head.
do you think you remember you already lived your life when it flashes before your eyes?
i'm scared that i'm reliving my life from right before i die, but actually i'm more scared that the more i get to know me, the more likely i could be mauled to death by a bear at any second.
i like to think up scenarios where i die, and then do everything i can to avoid them. wanna see my walk in meat grinder? and i say no, i'm not grassfed, i'm too high in cholesterol, my mom drank when she was pregnant, and 20 years ago, dahmer didn't have to put up with any of that shit. where did it come from?
children are responsible for 100% of abortions
im gonna write a book called theres waldo- at the carnival, at beach, on the space station.
the marine's asvab only has two questions in peacetime: 2+2=4, and the first letter of the alphabet is b, i got one wrong but still passed. in wartime, it's what's your name and shoesize?
i dont vote because im not qualified to assign leadership.