Legionwood - 12+ hour long J-RPG
01-22-2010, 07:53 PM
Hello! I noticed you haven't gotten any replies on your thread yet and thought I'd give you some feedback.
I'm waiting to download your demo since you mentioned that there's a game-breaking bug in there right now. Do give a shout-out in your thread once it's up. But this is something that you can avoid by having a beta-tester or two. As a game creator, you know all the tips and tricks, so you might not think about what the average player might do. An extra pair of eyes can help a lot.
Now, onto the story ...
What is this mysterious phenomenon? (By the way, phenomena is plural; phenomenon is singular) I understand what you're trying to say by it, but because you called it "mysterious", I expected you to somehow explain it in the following sentence. Since you didn't, I figured that it had to be an important part of the plot later on, but you never referred to it again. Is there a point to drawing attention to it, or did you just want to say that there was a disaster and mankind had to rebuild the entire society? You're drawing attention to this mysterious event, so make sure it has an appropriate place in the plot.
2000 years is a very long time for man to just start rediscovering technology and to be at a medieval level. Given the mankind's current intellectual capacity and growth, it wouldn't take that long to start rebuilding. You could possibly explain it if the disaster made the survivors into technophobes, but you make no mention of this. Is there a reason why it took people so long to start rebuilding society? Were the only survivors kids who pretty much went feral and forgot about society and manners?
A war that no one knows nothing about is pretty weird. People aren't machines, they question and they need a motive. Instead, perhaps people couldn't agree what exactly they were fighting for - which could be the case with propaganda. But no one will pick up weapons and put themselves at risk if there's nothing to fight for. And a war wouldn't end unless there was some kind of closure. So, again, the closure could be something not everyone agrees upon, but there needs to be something that stopped the war. Did both sides say "we won, let's stop fighting"? Did both sides call truce? Was there some natural disaster that made people forget about fighting? It would take something pretty big to stop a raging war in its tracks.
The last sentence is enough to throw some intrigue. I'm curious to see who this key figure is and what he's planning.
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Your features and screenshots look alright. In my opinion, it's pretty hard to do VX RTP, but I can't say I see any horrible mistakes in your maps. I have to admit I expected graphics that are a little less cartoony, given your political theme. For some reason, cute munchkin RTP and a great war just don't mash so well.
I also hope that you'll be making full use of the RTP panorama capabilities to make more unique locations. VX mapping can be counter-intuitive at times. To give variety to areas, you should think about constructing some maps in programs like Photoshop or Gimp and using them as panoramas.
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I'll be sure to give you more feedback once I play your demo. Good luck with everything!
I'm waiting to download your demo since you mentioned that there's a game-breaking bug in there right now. Do give a shout-out in your thread once it's up. But this is something that you can avoid by having a beta-tester or two. As a game creator, you know all the tips and tricks, so you might not think about what the average player might do. An extra pair of eyes can help a lot.
Now, onto the story ...
What is this mysterious phenomenon? (By the way, phenomena is plural; phenomenon is singular) I understand what you're trying to say by it, but because you called it "mysterious", I expected you to somehow explain it in the following sentence. Since you didn't, I figured that it had to be an important part of the plot later on, but you never referred to it again. Is there a point to drawing attention to it, or did you just want to say that there was a disaster and mankind had to rebuild the entire society? You're drawing attention to this mysterious event, so make sure it has an appropriate place in the plot.
2000 years is a very long time for man to just start rediscovering technology and to be at a medieval level. Given the mankind's current intellectual capacity and growth, it wouldn't take that long to start rebuilding. You could possibly explain it if the disaster made the survivors into technophobes, but you make no mention of this. Is there a reason why it took people so long to start rebuilding society? Were the only survivors kids who pretty much went feral and forgot about society and manners?
A war that no one knows nothing about is pretty weird. People aren't machines, they question and they need a motive. Instead, perhaps people couldn't agree what exactly they were fighting for - which could be the case with propaganda. But no one will pick up weapons and put themselves at risk if there's nothing to fight for. And a war wouldn't end unless there was some kind of closure. So, again, the closure could be something not everyone agrees upon, but there needs to be something that stopped the war. Did both sides say "we won, let's stop fighting"? Did both sides call truce? Was there some natural disaster that made people forget about fighting? It would take something pretty big to stop a raging war in its tracks.
The last sentence is enough to throw some intrigue. I'm curious to see who this key figure is and what he's planning.
-
Your features and screenshots look alright. In my opinion, it's pretty hard to do VX RTP, but I can't say I see any horrible mistakes in your maps. I have to admit I expected graphics that are a little less cartoony, given your political theme. For some reason, cute munchkin RTP and a great war just don't mash so well.
I also hope that you'll be making full use of the RTP panorama capabilities to make more unique locations. VX mapping can be counter-intuitive at times. To give variety to areas, you should think about constructing some maps in programs like Photoshop or Gimp and using them as panoramas.
-
I'll be sure to give you more feedback once I play your demo. Good luck with everything!
