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 True Lawyer Stories
#1
Trust me guys, I didn't come up with this.
I got this from a comic about guys playing pen-n-paper RPG games.

True Lawyer Stories


Recently reported in the Massachusettes Bar Association Lawyers Journal, the following are questions actually asked of witnesses by attorneys during trials.
  • "Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?"

  • "The youngest son, the 22 year old, how old is he?"

  • "Were you present when your picture was taken?"

  • "Were you alone or by yourself?"

  • "Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?"

  • "Did he kill you?"

  • "How far apart where the vehicles at the time of the collision?"

  • "You were there until the time you left, is that true?"

  • "How many times have you committed suicide?"

  • "She had three children, right?"
    A: Yes
    "How many were boys?
    A: None.
    "Were there any girls?"

  • "You say the stairs whent down to the basement?"
    A: Yes
    "And these stairs, did they go up also?"

  • "Mr Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?"
    A: I went to Europe, sir.
    "And you took your new wife?"

  • "How was your first marriage terminated?"
    A: By death
    "And by who's death was it terminated?"

  • "Can you describe the individual?
    A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
    "Was this a male, or female?"
Up is down, left is right and sideways is straight ahead. - Cord "Circle of Iron", 1978 (written by Bruce Lee and James Coburn... really...)
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#2
"I think it's in my basement... let me go upstairs and check"
"Turning iron ore into iron swords is a hard process, for one must first dig out the rock, and melt it to refine it, then one must pour that metal into a mould, let it cool a bit, and pound on it while it cools even further. Games are no different." - Ahzoh

Universal Declaration of Human Rights in Vrkhazhian
ʾEšol ḵavud ʾelẕakud lav ʾezʾaẕud zwazaršeru ya lit žalneru lav lit t͛enud. Ṗal sa-ražheru lav raržižu paplam lav ṗal widsaṟam bemaḵu šuku lit ʾeyṭu waẏnilaẇ.
All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights. They are endowed with reason and conscience and should act towards one another in a spirit of brotherhood.
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