10 Things that Suck About Being a Developer

[Kain Nobel]

Welcome to my article...

Ten Things that Suck About Being a Developer

Please don't mistake this as an "I hate game development" rant, because I love it, I look forward to doing it every day! But, whether it be games, game makers, "do my taxes for me" applications, etc it all requires a great sacrifice of time and energy to make your software worthwhile. (We can delete anything doing with "software" and replace it with "building a statue" or "engineering an airplane", it's still all work, most of which must be meticulously planned out using the power of a human brain :P)

#10 : The Great Outdoors

Unless you're a homeless transient slaving over a laptop in the shade of a mall parking lot or Starbucks patio, chances are you're stuck indoors a lot. Even if you do have a lap top, I'm sure you burn through the battery quick when doing serious work, so you must always be around an outlet or carry an extension cord with you. Which is kind of hard to do at the park.

I don't know, I guess I'm not an adventurous enough computer nerd (and lack a lap top). Besides that, I've tried setting my desktop up outside and couldn't deal with the dust, flies, freshly cut grass irritating my sinuses, weather, that evil Sun God, etc. I was out there a whole five minutes before I packed up and headed back inside, because fuck the great outdoors!

#9 : The People Around You...

Everybody is so caught up in their world that they think you're doing little, you're not busy with anything, you're just "staring at a screen, typing chicken scratch" as they say, mocking you from behind their tablet facebook game like they're the ones who mean business. The whole world revolves around me in a blur, and sometimes it stops around me and relies on me to ease the pressures of their back by taking out their empty plate of dinner for them and getting them a drink, rubbing their feet, fanning them off with giant palms.



Suddenly they want to be the pharaoh and, oh there I am, I'm that poor sucker holding the fan.^ No, they just handed it to me and told me to fan them away, and they expect me to feed them grapes while I rub their feet too. Then I have to oral their lady parts to help them go to sleep, handle their laundry, wake them up for work with their clothes ready, etc.

Trivia : Queens have been known to run entire kingdoms and empires with their vaginas :3

# 8 : Where did all my friends go?

Once upon a time, I had friends and a vast social life. Then I bought a computer. I still had friends and a social life. Then I learned how to use a computer. I still had friends for a while, we'd go out and get shitfaced at the bar together, we'd start a band and jam all night, then we'd wake up hungover in the morning. Then the Queen would come out and demand to know why the castle is littered with passed out commoners in her kitchen and living room.

Well, I guess this complaint is kind of null and void, I still do have friends. Nah, not really, I just have a wife. And my wife has a girlfriend. I just miss my drinking buddies / band mates. Even if they would cost me money at times and occasionally throw up in unexpected places, they were fun to be around. I almost experienced my first DUI with 'em :D

# 7 : Family Start to Wonder...

Since I've started development on my own secret project(s) (mostly Project : Echoside), I tend to forget that I once had parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. Occasionally I'll have one call me up like "Hey, I called Auntie Paula to get your number from her brother, your dad, so I could get in contact with you." Even my own parents call, my mom all like "So... you're still alive, right? You need to call every once in awhile, I almost called the police to do a welfare check on you because you always miss my calls."

It's not something I do intentionally. I'm not even trying to avoid my parents, I just forget. Does that make me a bad son? They only live a couple miles away, I need to try to visit my folks more often I suppose :|

# 6 : Time is Everything

Hey, I'm serious about what I do, so serious it'll probably lead me to an early grave. But I don't care, YOLO, amirite? Who else is going to execute my visions for me, Squeenix? Ha, they're too busy fucking up the FF series, I might as well just do my own thing and wait for them to figure out where they went wrong.

With that said, I have to rush through everything that doesn't deal with development. When I do laundry, I don't walk out carrying a basket, I run through the hallway trying to get that basket of laundry into the washing machine as fast as I can. I hike my trash out the door like a linebacker and slam dunk that bitch in the garbage like I'm Shaq-daddy! Because, really, ain't nobody got time for that! When I shower, I do my 3 S's (shit, shower, shave) in under 5 minutes because, like I said, I've got shit to do lol.

# 5 : Taking a Break is Forced and Awkward

What am I doing right now? I'm taking a break from development. I've tried doing other things like washing the dishes, playing some FF, cooking breakfast, etc. Thing is, I can't take my mind off of working on REGAL, or Echoside, or Belly of the Beast, or my secret next project that I don't plan on starting until 2018. I'm wired to constantly work on this, I just watched TV and can't even tell you what I watched because, frankly, making stuff is on my mind :P

# 4 : It's Entertainment, Try to Enjoy It, OK?

I'm not bagging on movies and video games, it's part of what I'm trying to get into myself. It's just, when you create things like I do, sometimes your attention and appreciation doesn't come off very strong for other mediums.

People around me think I can't stand watching movies OR playing video games... I do enjoy them. I just have a short attention span for them now. While I try not to think of it this way, I know that I'm "wasting time" and there are other things that could be done. Instead of enjoying something with other people, I tend to take multiple and extended "bathroom breaks" so they don't think I'm just blowing them off to go work on something. I'll use some kind of excuse like "Oh I had Taco Bell for lunch," but people are starting to catch on...

# 3 : I'll Feed Others, But I Neglect to Feed Myself...

It's a sign of workaholism. Fuck, I just got over being an alcoholic, now I'm 4 years sober but a workaholic? D:

It's not going to matter who cooked, whether it was me, my wife, Hungry Howie's Pizza, Quiznos... if somebody doesn't bring it to me, I might forget what hunger even means. Sometimes I think I ate, then somebody reminds me that it was all in my head.

While I was out in the kitchen last night, I had got everybody's plate ready, got them all drinks, sat down and didn't realize until 6 hours later that I forgot to make my own. Then the food had been left out and, well, I didn't find it very appetizing at that point. I pulled a couple of loafs of bread out, stuffed it in my mouth, washed it down with some Code Red and got back to work pronto. Because software doesn't make itself (or maybe it does, I'm just tired of waiting for it o.o)

# 2 : It's Hard to Stay Fit

Hey, at least I'm not fat! On the other hand, I'm getting to skinny and my muscle is starting to look less rocky and more doughy. This is somewhat what my body looked like in 2004, before I started planning Echoside.

But I've shrunk, especially without my highschool football coach yelling at me like that guy from Full Metal Jacket.



Okay, I guess I'm not as out of shape as that guy, but I feel like it sometimes lol.

OMG the Satisfaction, it's TOO MUCH!!!

I enjoy game development a little too much, so much in fact that I go out of my way to sleep only 4 hours a day for 6 days and pass out for 20 on the 7th. Sometimes I go to sleep with my computer still on, looking at my widgets until they become part of my dreams. I start dancing with the Select Item widget, doing cartwheels on the Tile Map, rob Potion shops for all their Phoenix Downs, etc...

I've tried to stop. I can't stop, I won't stop. Matter of fact, I'm getting back to it RIGHT NOW because it's still on my mind.

[Ahzoh]

I hear ya man, my mom wants me to get FRIENDS, go outside and crap like that, she complains that I stare at the screen and says that's ALL I do.
But no, IM DEVELOPING A GAME. Sheesh.

[MetalRenard]

Ah the obsessions of passion. I think lots of us have been there.
In my case with music, I sacrificed my social life so I could spend all my time learning how to compose and produce music, working on it about 5 to 8 hours a day for nearly a year. I studied from home during that time (I managed to find an excuse to do so) and I'm honestly very glad I did.

Now though, I'm about to be thrust back into the "real" world (as all those ignorant fools call it...) and I'm going to become a teacher. At least I'll get holidays and stuff. :)