Dream Fantasy

[Yerry Great]

Content Hidden

DREAM FANTASY

- W.I.P -

Foreword
Hi ... I am a new member here. Now, I want to post my game here.

Engine
RPG Maker VX - Enterbrain

Story Line

Ten years ago, Auron Miracle, leader of nation's research company. He planned to create a special brew that can heal any kinds of disease. But his assistance has another plan. He wants to stop Auron. He kills Auron and ran away taking all the brews on the research company. He was gone without trace untill now. Heiro Miracle, son of Auron, wants to revenge to his father's murderer. Now, Heiro has grown up, He helps his mother everyday.

Suddenly, there's a large assault from neighbour nation. All the civilians were slaughtered. But, Heiro was succeeded in escape from this assault. This is the start of Heiro's adventure ~


Character

• Heiro Miracle, 15 y.o, Swordsman
  
• Reserved
  
• Reserved
  
• Reserved
  

Screenshot

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Credit

• Reijubv - Title Screen, Translator
  
• Wora - Neo Save System III
  
• Refmap FSM Tekopon - Tileset
  
• Kaduki - Charset & Faceset
  
• modern algebra - Message Script
  
• dnasman, droneseven, Atsavin - betatester
  

Sorry my english not so good

Please comment

[computerwizoo7]

ok, you should read over your story because it has a lot of grammar errors, anyway the story don't seem to be leading the reader anywhere either.

[Alpha-Mad]

I have to agree with computer.

I really can't even judge or comment on the storyline yet because I'm having a hard time understanding your English. Do you have someone who can proofread and edit your language? That might be your best bet. Also, some screenshots would help but you said you are going to post some tomorrow so no big deal.

[Yerry Great]

@Wizoo & Alpha

Sorry about that. I'll change it later. Give me a few hours.

[computerwizoo7]

OK!
Make sure that you make it interesting so can give you some good advice!

[Yerry Great]

Story Updated

Sorry my english not so good

[computerwizoo7]

Wiz Compiler:

these are the errors you have:

leader of nation's research company. He planned to
error

Expected "They" but found "He" (if yo are saying that it was a loner idea anot h entire company going after that goal)

brews on the research company.

error

Expected "in" but found "on"

without trace untill now.

syntax error

suggest using "a"


Heiro Miracle, son of Auron, wants to revenge to his father's murderer
error
syntax error

Expected "avenge" but found "revenge to"
suggest removing "'s murderer"

He helps his mother everyday.

runtime error

suggest removing unnecessary text


Suddenly, there's a large assault from neighbour nation. All the civilians were slaughtered. But, Heiro was succeeded in escape from this assault. This is the start of Heiro's adventure ~

syntax error

suggest using "a leader of nation's research company. He planned to
error

Expected "They" but found "He" (if yo are saying that it was a loner idea anot h entire company going after that goal)

brews on the research company.

error

Expected "in" but found "on"

without trace untill now.

syntax error

suggest using "a"


Heiro Miracle, son of Auron, wants to revenge to his father's murderer
error
syntax error

Expected "avenge" but found "revenge to"
suggest removing "'s murderer"

He helps his mother everyday.

runtime error

suggest removing unnecessary text


Suddenly, there's a large assault from neighbour nation. All the civilians were slaughtered. But, Heiro was succeeded in escape from this assault. This is the start of Heiro's adventure ~

error

Expected "a neighbor" but found " neighbour"
suggest removing "." from slaughtered
suggest removing "was"
Expected "escaping" but found "escape"

compile ended with unsuccessful build!

[explocion200]

were can i get the demo

[Jaberwocky]

Wiz Compiler:

these are the errors you have:

...

I think perhaps you should lern2gramer yourself before attempting to correct someone else's.
Also try doing it in a way that makes sense and doesn't look like a trainwreck.

[computerwizoo7]

lol!
guess so... !_!