DoubleX Music Room

[DoubleX]

I just made my 43rd published song:

Description

Current version: 1st(22 Oct 2025)
If all I did didn't mean anything and I never mattered to anyone, then maybe it's time for me to just take myself lightly and move on, provided that I still have anywhere else to move to :)

[DoubleX]

I just made my 44th published song:

Description

Current version: 1st(26 Oct 2025)
As long as people keep harming themselves, each other as well as the whole ecosystem, we'll still be living in a world of harm, and this will only continue until we can finally let go of our fear of death, and thus break free of our survival instincts that have been trapping up all for so long :)

[DoubleX]

I just made my 45th published song:

Description

Current version: 1st(30 Oct 2025)
As whether you're deserving someone is determined by that someone, so in theory you can be deserving a person while not deserving another. But when everyone you've directly interacted with clearly shows that you're never deserving any of them, you'll probably feel that you won't ever meet someone who thinks you're deserving him/her, so it'd only be natural for you to think that you're always deserving nobody :(

[DoubleX]

I just made my 46th published song:

Description

Current version: 1st(30 Oct 2025)
When you can't use anything well and don't know how to do so for a long time, some of the others will blame you for wasting all you've, then after trying hard to change that but still failed, you'll eventually start to doubt whether you're actually unworthy of anything X(

[DoubleX]

I just made my 47th and 48th published song:

Description

Current version: 1st(7 Nov 2025)
When your heart feels bitterly cold, it's not because your surrounding is emotionally cold, but because you're always surrounded by very warm love but you can never feel any of it; What makes your feeling freezes to death isn't that no one tries to understand you, but that they always try very hard to empathize deeply but you still never know how to open up yourselves even one bit; This cold is so bitter not because no one cares about you, but because they've always done all they can but you're still helplessly going straight to absolute zero so painfully; What's worse than instantly frozen tears while crying is that you wanna cry so much but there's already no more tears left for you to cry :(
P.S.: It's the 2nd of my published songs that can make me weep at least slightly for a short time :)

Description

Current version: 1st(9 Nov 2025)
Since the very existence of the mankind is just an unlikely evolutionary misfortune for the ecosystem, other species(especially those being extinct due to human activities) as well as those people themselves, and we never managed to coexist well with the nature, we're becoming terminal cancers of the very environment we deeply depend upon to survive, so our civilization's doomed to have such a bleak fate that we're destined to slowly destroy ourselves and everything around us X(

[DoubleX]

Updates

Current version: 2nd(13 Nov 2025)
Major Changes:
Added chords to strengthen the climax of the main melody
Changed the instruments in some parts of the counter melodies
Changed the rhythms and ideas of the counter melodies themselves to make them more different than the main melody
Changed the percussion during the 2nd half of the music

While I feel that overall the 2nd version's noticeably better due to the counter melodies not being so dull and subordinate to the main melody, the 1st version does have a slightly cleaner and clearer main melody, so the latter's still here:

[DoubleX]

I just made my 49th published song:

Description

Current version: 1st(16 Nov 2025)
When you tried your best to give it all but it still doesn't work at the end, you can still enjoy the process and grow up from this learning experience, and some of those caring about you will likely support you at least slightly, but those needing a working result will still probably think that all that matters is that it's just a failure, so everything you've done is ultimately in vain for them :(

[DoubleX]

I just made my 50th published song:

Description

Current version: 1st(19 Nov 2025)
When the social norm becomes more and more inclined to avoid "negative people", especially for those using spirituality as a disguise of the underlying just-world hypothesis, you'll likely want to hope for never being very negative for long, or being able to help yourselves to return to at least apparently enough positivity on your own if that ever happens, otherwise you'll probably "deteriorate" into a part of the banished negativity and become effectively quarantined by the society, although it could be a karma boomerang if you refused to help every other "negative people" in the past when you could've helped at least some of them :(