HE SHALL BE NAMED TYRUS!

[DerVVulfman]

Trust me guys, I didn't come up with this.
I got this from a website recounting pen-n-paper RPG stories.

HE SHALL BE NAMED TYRUS!

by Nigh Invulnerable

The party had previously befriended a troll out in the forest (the halfling fighter just walked up and said Hi, then let the troll eat his pony) and had returned to town for some R&R. The troll, being a troll, got hungry again and started picking off cows from the local farmers’ fields. The party heard rumors of it and decided to ignore the obvious plot hook in favor of a drinking contest at the pub.

The drinking contest ended with the party rogue winning, which meant that he was the most unconscious afterwards. The rest of the guys took his slumbering form, fast talked their way into the clock tower of the local church (claiming to be “clock inspectors/repairmen”), and tied the slumbering rogue to the minute hand of the clock. Of course this activity alerted some guards so they had to either face arrest or somehow get down from the tower. No points to anyone guessing the option they took…

The Vanara (an Oriental Adventures race that’s basically a large chimp) monk (get it?) slid down an ornate gutter with his kappa shell and escaped into the gardens surrounding the church.

The half-elf fighter (who was more than a little insane) decided to use his rope to climb down the side of the building. Unfortunately he discovered that he only had about 35′ of rope and about 50′ to the ground, so he pulled a John McClane and just tied the rope off and swung through the large stained-glass window below him. After a series of probability defying rolls, he smashed through the window, injured a priest who was christening a baby, caught the airborne infant, declared “He shall be named Tyrus!” (the character’s name), and then ran out the door and escaped the guards.

This party later went on to stage their own deaths in a flour mill in order to escape a murder rap they got when they freed their troll friend from the arena. Yeah…