You Might Be a Redneck Elf if...

[DerVVulfman]

Trust me guys, I didn't come up with this.
This exerpt came from a comic about guys playing pen-n-paper RPG games.

YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK ELF IF...

1. You bought your enchanted sword at K-Mart.
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2. You notch your ears for every dwarf you've taken down.
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3. Your sword has the words "Craftsman" printed on it.
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4. The only Ranger you know is made by Ford.
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5. You live in a double-wide tree-house.
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6. You know every animal in the forest... literally.
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7. Your lyre is a banjo
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8. You've ever played "dueling lyres."
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9. If orcs are afraid to walk by your house.
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10. If you've ever said, "Squeal like a hydra, fat boy!"
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11. If your version of casting a fireball or magic missile involves lighting a fart.
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12. If your elven boots are blue suede.
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13. If you've ever said "Hobbit, you got a perdy mouth."
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14. If you know three ways to roast a unicorn.
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15. If you've ever fully executed the "pull my wand" joke.
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16. If you were ever married in a crossbow wedding.
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17. If your crossbow is a 12 gauge.
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18. If you buy grog in 12 packs.
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19. If your answer to "How do uou keep orcs out of your backyard?" is "Hang one in the front."
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20. If you've ever gone balrog tipping.
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21. If there's a signin your window that says "If this tree's a rockin', don't come a knockin'."
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22. If goblins say you're messy and smell bad.
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23. If you ever mowed your lawn, and found a dragon horde.
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24. If your ceremonial robes are polyester.
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25. If your place of worship has a spittoon and a two drink minimum.