HOUSTON, WE HAVE A PROBLEM

[DerVVulfman]

Trust me guys, I didn't come up with this.
I got this from a comic about guys playing pen-n-paper RPG games.

"HOUSTON, WE HAVE A PROBLEM"

A reader recently informed us that NASA has a contingency plan in the event of a Viking Attack and instructed us to go to (LINK KILLED). We were a bit surprised that to find he was teling the truth. Either the folks at NASA have a keen sense of humor or someone down in R&D has been sniffing the helium tanks again. At any rate, we thought our readers would find "Defense Against Viking Raids" an interesting read:

SUBJECT: Procedure to Follow in the Event That Vikings attack Building 245.
BACKGROUND: Since the decline of the Carolingian Empire in the 10th century, Building 245 of the NASA Ames Research Center has been subject to periodic raids by Viking maurauders. These marauders generally attack in search of gold, religious icons, and other forms of plunder. The Nasa Ames Barbarian Affairs Office has established the following procedures for defense against Viking raids:

DEFENSE AGAINST VIKING RAIDS

1.0 Complete a DARC-820AD (Identifying a Barbarian Attack) to determine if the visitors are Viking Raiders.

1.1 Are the strangers wearing weapons, helmets and armor?
1.2 Do the strangers lack trade goods or other evidence that they might only be peaceful merchants?
1.3 Do the strangers have NASA Ames visitor ID Badges?
1.31 If so, do these badges identify the visotors as Viking Raiders?

2.0 Fill out Viking Raid Logbook in Division office.
3.0 Complete an FF-1066AD (Report of Viking Raid)

3.1 Section I -- Identity of the attackers
3.11 Nationality (if not Norwegian, Swedish, Danish, or Frisian check 'Other')
3.12 Name of leader (include name of family and clan)
3.13 Under 'Religion' check either 'Pagan' or 'Converted'.
3.2 Section II -- Program Office Review
3.21 Check 'Unclassified'
3.22 Originating Nasa Organization (NASA Ames Research Center/SST).
3.23 Type in Division Chief.
3.24 Type in Mail Code under 'Office Code'.
3.25 Type in Mail Code under 'Program Office and Code'.
3.3 Write cover letter to NASA Headquarters.

4.0 Assemble the FF-1066AD package. Separate and assemble the FF-1066AD with four (4) copies of cover letters as follows:

4.1 First Page (white) -- attach cover letter to the back. On the side write: DO/218-2.
4.2 Second Page (green) -- attach cover letter to the back. On the side write: S/200-7.
4.3 Third Page (pink) -- attach cover letter to the back. On the side write: SS/245-1.
4.4 Fourth Page (yellow) -- attach cover letter to the back. On the side write: Branch Code and Mail Stop (SST/245-3).

5.0 Finish DARC-820AD -- staple copies of letter to Headquarters (Step 3.3) to the back.
6.0 Forward DARC-820AD and FF-1066AD package to Division Office for signatures.

6.1 Division Chief will forward DARC-820AD and letters to secretary for file in author's file.
6.2 Division Office will sign FF-1066AD, date all copies, and forward them as follows:
6.21 Original: to Document Control Clerk.
6.22 Others: to Branch Office and Directorate Office.

7.0 Take refuge in the hills until the raiders are gone.