DOOMED FROM THE BEGINNING - Parts 1 - 4

[DerVVulfman]

PART 2
by Introbulus

Now, our party needed adamantine from the South because, through an NPC, it was revealed that we would need some to fight the golems our sorcerer’s evil twin brother was making. The dwarves who had the adamantine minds informed us that the caves were infested with snakes, so naturally, we ran in and cleared out the caves (well, THEY cleared out the caves. My 20ft movement rate kept me firmly in the back of the party, doing bugger all). Afterwards, there was a conflict over whether or not we would get the adamantine, and this exchange occurred.



DM (Dwarf King): I’m sorry, we just cannah’ give ye’ tha’ adamantine.

Paladin: In that case, I challenge your weakest warrior to a duel!

Gnome: I accept the challenge!

DM (Dwarf King): Uh…very well! Your Gnome will fight our weakest warrior!

After much confusion, and drawing of a circle, our Gnome went toe-to-toe with essentially the Dwarven equivalent of a book-worm. With the house rules in play, every failed hit allowed a fighter to make a counter-attack. This was an unarmed battle, and the opponent made a lot of AoOs because she (Yes, she) had Imp. Unarmed Strike, and our Gnome did not. Much cheering ensued, and eventually, both fighters managed to knock each other out. Then the Dwarf King approached us.

DM (Dwarf King): Well lads…I must admit…that is easily the sissiest fight I have e’er seen. Me lads will be laughin’ at tha’ one fer’ weeks. But I cannah’ in my right mind give ye’ all this adamantine. So, we’re gonna get ourselves reeeeally really drunk, and THEN I’ll give it to ‘ya.

And after a drunken night of Dwarf Partying, during which our Gnome may or may not have had a one-night stand with the same Dwarf, we left with our metal to find smiths who could shape it into weapons. (I’m…not exactly sure why the Dwarfs couldn’t do it, but for some reason, the Paladin insisted that we go to some random island on the map).

End of Part 2