Blood of the Gods
01-27-2010, 06:02 AM
I have to agree with Lunarea in saying that the story you have planned is very interesting. The conflict between finding peace and having free speech is something we're forced to think about quite a bit and it's an interesting way to see what we really want (in the creator's opinion). The political scenes you could create are intriguing and there's a lot of room for character development, so I'm really hoping you go through with this.
The only thing I didn't like in what you posted is Adam's age. 15 is pretty young to be involved in things like this and you could do a lot more with someone older (such as an adult). For example, at 15 he won't have as many experiences to work with so he's more liable to be naive in certain situations. While his abilities make that lesser than you'd usually see, it's still an issue. You could also use it to your advantage if you wanted to take that route by having people teach him various things as the storyline proceeds (as he probably won't know how to defend himself very well). Ultimately it doesn't matter much, but it's just one of those things that bugs me that I wanted to point out. :P
The only thing I didn't like in what you posted is Adam's age. 15 is pretty young to be involved in things like this and you could do a lot more with someone older (such as an adult). For example, at 15 he won't have as many experiences to work with so he's more liable to be naive in certain situations. While his abilities make that lesser than you'd usually see, it's still an issue. You could also use it to your advantage if you wanted to take that route by having people teach him various things as the storyline proceeds (as he probably won't know how to defend himself very well). Ultimately it doesn't matter much, but it's just one of those things that bugs me that I wanted to point out. :P