What's on your mind?

[yamina-chan]

By the way remember the summer game design contest we had over on my site? How many of you would be interested in joining a 2015 encore? Someone on another site asked about it so I figured I'd go around and get a consensus.

Also yamina, the spoils of war are still waiting for you if you change your mind...

Generally I'd be up for joining that, but it depends on whatever conditions/rules etc this ends up having. Mark me down as "interested, but not signed up"

-And I've been checking in on your forum every now and then, but I can't really get into it. I've fixed all the bugs in the game I submited for the last contest and would like to post that there at some point for the heck of it, but I'm also working on a more slightly expanded version on the side. Once I've finished that I'll probably post both - again, for the heck of it Xb

[Kain Nobel]

I think I have an undiagnosed mental disorder that prevents me from enjoying anything. I really wish I wasn't like this, but I'll be damned if I start going back to counseling and getting on psyche medication again. Just trying to get into anything makes me feel sick to my stomach, most of the time it's forced. Better Call Saul is an example of a "forced" enjoyment, I scream at myself "YOU BETTER LIKE THIS M*****F***ER!" Some people probably can't stand fanboys, but I wish that I could be a fanboy of something (occasionally it happens... for a minute.)

I think that's what drives me as a developer, the fact that I don't like anything, so I'm forced to make something I (don't) enjoy. It's probably fucking awesome though, I hope the world will one day like it :)

AMC is the greatest thing since sliced bread... despite the fact I don't like any of their shows. At the same time, I can respect it, as they're making television shows, all the other networks seem irrelevant. The Walking Dead is boring as hell, and Sons of Anarchy is a chore to even attempt to watch, but it's better than Ancient Aliens and Honey Boo Boo. Everybody and their mother has a remodeling show, cake decorating show, culinary show, fake forensics show, etc.

Unable to enjoy anything, love and life included, I've now become a gym rat. I joke with my lady it's because I have an inferiority complex but, being around a bunch of sweaty men larger than me, I've found I've actually got an unexplainable superiority complex, yet at the same time I'm quick to tell myself "Not good enough" at whatever I do. Nothing is ever "good enough" and I will never be satisfied, my so-called perfection obsession will probably end up being the death of me.

I remain polite to the world (most of the time), but I abuse the living hell out of myself, often times for no reason at all. Currently, I'm on a hunger strike and a sleep strike, but it has no purpose. I haven't ate since Thursday, I haven't slept since Friday, I'm listening to the heaviest and most obnoxious metal one can find, I'll probably crash tonight and miss the first two days of work due to temporary exhaustion and insanity. Also, these bands suck ass and I'm finally ending my hunger strike with some Kraft macaroni and cheese.

Loneliness is another weird phenomenon of an emotion which, in my world, doesn't make sense. I feel it when I'm with the ones I love, and sometimes I cope with it by being away from them, which seems like the opposite way to combat such a feeling. I'd like to make friends outside of my relationship but, when I do, I simply find people annoying and phase them out of my life as quickly as I can.

Aside from online and family, the only friend I have is crazy like I am, and I haven't been speaking with her because she's finally (hopefully) getting her act together, but when I talked to her tonight... I think she's about to end her cycle and I'm about to start mine, so the next week or so could end up being a ying/yang ordeal. She jokes that I should get into psychiatry or become a psychic, or even a psychic psychiatrist, but I think both professions are frauds, yet she insists I have the "gift". One time she told me I was telepathically sending her an image of Justin Bieber, and I was... but I think it is actually her who has the mind reading abilities, I'm just some slob that thinks the Biebs is funny, thinking of his silly face makes me laugh when I'm down.

I did recently get two hours of sleep, but was awoken by the voice of an angry bobcat. I never heard my dogs bark, so apparently somebody is slacking on their night watch duty (or was eaten by an angry bobcat). I hear my brother in law going out back to have a cigarette, I wonder if I should tell him about the angry bob cat...

[Ahzoh]

One day, I will go meet my friend who lives in this Arabic village in Israel, called Dabburiyah:

[greenraven]

yamina, sure thing. I'll let you know about rules/guidelines once my friend and I talk some more. (We haven't spoken in about a week because she's super busy with work and school.) Also don't forget you have your own personal sub-forum and once we fix up our main site a spot on the front page. ;)

Kain, I think everyone does in this day and age. It just seems par for the course. My brother for example things he might have an undiagnosed attention deficit disorder because of how many tabs he has open at once. And not just tabs but streams and videos and games all at the same time. He'll often watch streams while playing games.

Ahzoh, I have a long list of internet friends I'd like to visit one day. Hopefully it'll happen.

[Kain Nobel]

I recently came across 40 Questions to Ask a Christian.

So I use the word "wanna" a lot, but only in relaxed settings such as forum posts and story dialog (I'd never write it in a professional business paper or anything.) I've always thought of it as slang, but I grew suspicious of spell-check never highlighting it. With that said, I looked it up on dictionary.com and... well, just read it for yourself, hilarious depravity shall ensue, some lexicographer needs to get laid.

Also, I don't care how uneducated sounding "ain't" supposedly is, that word is so common it might as well be considered a real word by now! WHY AIN'T "AIN'T" A REAL, CANONICAL WORD YET?! It's time to step down from our snobby, "highly educated" pedestal and just accept that "ain't" IS a word and it ain't going away any time soon! My spell-check software doesn't go all grammar nazi on it (no, I'm not capitalizing nazi no matter how many squiggly red lines spell check draws under it) so I'm not complaining too much about it lol.

I went to the record store the other day, and they have empty double-jewel cases (like what you'd use for FFVII or other multi-disc media) with letters on them to denote where you're at in the alphabet, ie AAA, BBB, CCC, etc. I brought the "kkk" one up and told the cashier to shove it up his ass lol. (Also, spell-check insists I capitalize those 3 letters too, how kosher! :|)

Been helping a friend through some personal struggles. I might be out of town for a couple weeks next month.

[Bounty Hunter Lani]

That website "40 Questions to Ask a Christian" asks questions that are easily answered by the bible, so if they really wanted answers, then they could ask away
(Seriously, "If God told you to kill an Atheist, would you?" is a dumb question. )

I did hear about "ain't" becoming a word, but my spellcheck hasn't updated, apparently. Silly thing!

Now here's what's on my mind:

Every single day, I wake up, do my morning stuff, then I go onto Facebook, Save-Point, Youtube, and wrestlingattitude.com. I check all there is to check, answer notifications, then I set posts for the day on Facebook for my page. I then have some shows to watch on TV, so I watch them as I do schoolwork, then I get calls from teachers asking how I'm doing, etc.
I then have to check back onto Facebook to ensure my posts are actually getting through, since Facebook has eaten some of my scheduled posts multiple times in the past. I answer more messages from people, maybe have an active conversation, then go back to doing schoolwork. I watch Youtube shows that I am subscribed to, maybe listen to some music... then I go out to check the mail, put stuff in the mailbox, maybe sneak some food in between all of the stuff I do...
Then I have to play an MMO with a few friends who freak out when I'm not there for 12 hours, so I play that for a while... then I nap.

Then I wake up, check up on Facebook, set more posts, check Save-Point and wrestlingattitude.com, check Youtube to see if anyone posted any more videos, then I watch some shows in the evening, make dinner, blah blah blah...

Such a terrible grind I have been subjected to...

I should get paid for all I do.
Please? Pretty please with sugar on top?

Worth a try...

[Kain Nobel]

Ah, the trappings of the internet, the perpetual cycle of making one's rounds and then repeating said rounds because maybe somebody updated something somewhere. I'm currently in this state of mind, with six tabs open, realizing "What the hell dude?! Don't you have something to work on?" :(

*Runs off to work on... something, anything.*

<3

[Ahzoh]

I realized that is the same also with me... Making rounds and whatnot...

[greenraven]

Can I join the club? Do we get a secret handshake? Is there a club uniform? XD

Pretty much the same deal. I've got about 4 to 5 sites I cycle through on a regular basis. Then a random site or a webcomic or something. Then wash rinse repeat 4 to 5 sites again. It's a perpetual state of mental decay.

I'm just grateful I've given up the drugs that are chat rooms and instant messengers. A few years back I would be pretty much tethered to my computer 24/7, it got to a point of being a serious problem.

[JayRay]

I'm sneaking on here while at work... updates come slowly here.