What's on your mind?

[Kain Nobel]

Ancient History rhymes with Ancient Mystery.

For that I must ask... WHAT'S REALLY GOING ON?

My modern mindset, I read about Norse/Roman/Greek/etc mythology, I wonder.

What was everybody's relationship with these gods? Did people seriously believe in all of it? Did they actually walk amongst everybody and rule nations? Was it treated and understood as just fiction and entertainment, just as we understand Batman and Spiderman and Super Man to be fictional characters? Did they really, truly believe in these gods like Christians believe in Jesus, or Muslims believe in Mohammad/Allah? I'm not beating up on anybody who believed, or believes, in this stuff. I'm not saying I believe or I don't, it's just a curiosity. Really, these ancient gods are still relevant today, just look at the Avengers series or the Nike corporation. Or the periodic table of elements. Astronomy. The days of the week. Geez. It's everywhere.

All rhetorical questions, of course, unless somebody has some insight into this stuff.

Everything seems like it's all connected, one way or another. Religion (all religions), philosophy, history, science. Church and state, which pretend to be separate, but are secretly married to one another.

Jesus wasn't left in the past. Odin wasn't left in the past. Mohammed wasn't left in the past. Buddah wasn't left in the past. Nobody forgot about Moses. Loki and Thor are still active in the modern mind. If religion is anti-science, well science too is obsessed with religion and constantly names planets, elements and other things after ancient gods - oh, but they don't believe in anything that can't be reproduced by the scientific method, right? Reality is their religion. What is reality, anyways?

Also, when reading about history, there is always something that is a "gray area" or just plain unaccounted for. Was it buried, censored, lost, forgotten? Hidden? DESTROYED? Yeah, people like to destroy. Gaps in the timeline. Rumors. Fabrications. A swift debunking that does nothing to really prove or disprove a single thing. Consensus conclusion by experts, and always somebody to refute.

I try not to even get caught up in it because I know that I truly and honestly don't know a damn thing about anything other than what's been presented, plus what I've experienced which is nothing supernatural nor mindblowing. And, of course, what I've read. Looking into anything is an exercise in mental gymnastics. It's all fascinating though, and sometimes I do have to take a critical dive into the information due to nothing more than a curiosity that keeps me awake.

Some people believe mental illness is demonic possession, while others believe demonic possession is nothing more than mental illness. Maybe it's a bit of both? Very strange.

Then I go play some Final Fantasy 7 and immediately think Jenova == Xenu from scientology beliefs. Let's hope they're not genetically modifying soldiers with Xenu cells :3

[kyonides]

Happen birthday, our local bounty hunter!

[Kain Nobel]

Languages are strange and fascinating.

'I'll never pretend to be an expert in anything but English, but I did study Spanish for two years. It never really stuck, and now I live around no Spanish speakers so it's pointless for me to even bother. Well, if I ever had to translate a bunch of things in Spanish, I'm sure that knowledge would help, but I doubt I'd be able to determine if it was any better than something tech itself can do on it's own. I'm sure if I travelled, it would come in handy, but I have no plan to ever visit a Spanish speaking country. Certainly, I'd probably like to, but you have to be rich to be travelling and vacationing these days.

One day I was watching Italy news, for no real reason whatsoever, but the topic was Iran's nuclear program and middle eastern geopolitics. Maybe it popped up on my feed or something. Whatever the case, I was shocked how well I could understand every word spoken, clear as English, like I had grew up speaking Italian my whole life. I've never studied one single iota of Italian, and I swear I don't know anything, but it was clearer than Spanish which is what I've studied. I've had similar situations with Pashto too, which was exciting, but... does it even have anything similar to Spanish, Latin or any of the other Romance languages? Possibly, but I just don't know. The Pashto experience was not as clear as Italian was, there was some radio static, but it was still pretty good - I'm confident I could understand about 70% of the Pashto news report, whereas Italian was 100%.

Both were clearer than Spanish is to me, which really puzzles, fascinates and bothers me at the same time.

Maybe visual context of both situations helped. Or knowledge on the subject matter. I'm not a linguist, but I think I could learn multiple languages if I had both the opportunity and need.

Listening to Spanish, I get bits and pieces but everybody talks too fast for me to really catch it, so I consider half of it gibberish. Sometimes I catch enough context to understand what's being said, but most times I really don't, unfortunately. Natural speakers sound like Speedy Gonzales to me and it bothers me that I cannot process it fast enough to understand it fully. To this day, I feel I could have a full conversation in Spanish, but I hesitate to even bother because it just makes the speed of doing business so much slower and more difficult. Nah, I don't like to gum up the gears or mishear/misspeak things, so google translate it is.

I hate to give up on it so easily, but I feel it doesn't have enough utility in my personal life to be worth the hassle, nor does it really serve a professional purpose. In the context of business, I don't want to have to guess and solve mysteries, I just want to be able to do the job right. No misunderstandings. Still fun though. I'll probably still study it throughout my life, casually and occasionally, because it's still a neat language and the one foreign language I'm most likely to encounter in the wild.

[kyonides]

Lack of interest or motivation. That's the main issue here. We'll, living in areas where no Spanish speakers can be found makes it complicated for anybody to learn it or want to do so.

What I don't like is the comparison with Speedy Gonzales or González, a very stereotypical character. Do Spanish speakers really speak fast? That's very subjective. I suspect that most of the time the cultural differences between Spanish and English speaking regions don't help you at all. Just for starters, Spanish speakers don't feel the need to open or move their mouths too much. English is its total opposite. Once you get used as a teenager to one of those styles, is hard to end up preferring another one. Then there's the animosity that has existed between US and Mexico for a couple if centuries already. I don't know if you personally care about that.

Why you naturally prefer Pashto over Spanish is quite unusual. Italian has a better image internationally than Spanish, even if Spanish is spoken by too many millions of people around the world. Not as widespread as Mandarin Chinese, of course.

Now I'm too busy as to keep talking here so I'll leave the rest for another occasion if possible.

[Kain Nobel]

I wasn't trying to be offensive with the Speedy Gonzales reference and I'm sorry if I've offended you. I admire Speedy, he's always outsmarting the dumb cat. He's quick, nimble, intelligent, funny, inventive, charming.

I've never had anything more than a passive interest in Italian or Pashto, only Spanish. Spanish should be clear as English to me at this point, maybe a little vague, but mostly clear and concise. Keep in mind, I never studied it academically, but I did buy my own materials and did my own study, plus I did well on my learning courses. Understanding some Italian makes sense, I'm not sure if there is a logical reason to be able to clearly hear and understand Pashto though.

The brain and it's capabilities are both mysterious and fascinating. I'll be sitting there watching Khyber News, and I'm confused why everything is so clear and vivid in a language I've never been exposed to. OK, so the other day I couldn't understand a word, but today there is absolutely no radio static. I have no mind altering substances in my system, and I've never had a CTE or other brain injury, so that can be ruled out. Then I go reheat some pizza, come back - I can't understand it again. Meh. This doesn't apply to any other languages other than Italian or Pashto. French? Gibberish. I don't understand French. Japanese? No, but that would be very cool.

A few years ago, I was reading a news story about somebody from the US Navy. I can't remember if they wound up in a coma or what their story was, but something had triggered a profound change in their mind. They were lost in America, no longer knew who they were, and spoke a foreign language and lost their English. I believe it was French but I can't remember the fine details, it's been a few years. From what I remember, they thought they were a completely different person from the nation which speaks that particular lingua franca. However, this person grew up in the United States, served in the Navy, had never been exposed to the language, but one day it was all they could speak and understand.

This isn't the first time I've heard of this sort of phenomenon, just the latest. I wish I would've saved the links to those news articles, it was fascinating. Curious what that guy is doing these days. Did he have to migrate and start his life over in that country? Did he get his English back and reunite with his loved ones? Not sure.

[Kain Nobel]

Easter weekend of 2019, this young girl called my work to let the manager know she won't be able to show up that Sunday because family plans. I thought it was the cutest thing ever, but I had to let her know that she called the wrong number since nobody by her name worked here. She asked me to google the phone number for the JC Penney's store she worked at and I kindly looked it up for her. Our work numbers were just a number or two different, so simple mistake.

However, since that fateful moment, I've made it one of my secret pleasures to call a place I've never worked at and be like "Hey, I won't be able to make it to work on [Holiday] because my family and I made plans."

On Friday, I had called 4 places of business, as a guy named "John", to let them know I would be too drunk on the 4th of July to show up. The manager had told me nobody named John works there, and I had to reassure them "yes, I've been working at this chicken shack for 5 years, you're out of your mind." (It was a chicken place.) I was very insistent that, yes, I do work there, and no, you don't pay me enough to ruin my good time.

The next place I called, well, unfortunately there was a John that worked there, so I had to come clean and let them know it was a prank. I told them I know John, and he's a good employee, and you should give him a raise. Then I played stupid and told them my name is John too, and that we like to give each other a hard time. They sounded amused, I think I might've actually made somebody's day. Also, I'm sure the real John is a good guy, so I advocated for him. Based on what I've heard about the real John, his employer sound very proud and I do hope he gets a raise. A really good one. I think he will. God bless the real John.

Another place I called was like "You stopped showing up 6 months ago so we fired you. Why are you calling in? You don't work here anymore, John." Then they realized I'm not John and started questioning me why I had called them. I wanted to tell them why, but I didn't have the heart to tell them why. I don't think they'd understand anyway, so I had to just hang up.

I've never had the balls to call off from a real job, so doing this gives me an unbelievable dopamine rush. I've always wanted to call out from work, especially for no good reason at all. I've fantasized about it for many years. I hope to one day be able to have the cajones to really call out from an actual job, but I'm too much of a responsible schmuck so it'll probably never happen.

Also, I've worked through so many 4th of Julys in my life that I'm surprised I haven't become a communist. I feel like I've missed out on so many good memories. Yeah, I'm going to make it a point to one day quit working on holidays, period, I don't care if it's time and a half pay, they can shove it. I want my life back. I want to be able to look back at my life and have memories that aren't centered around work and customer interactions and corporate bullshit. All work and no play leads to an empty life full of regret, and I regret it so much that I get sick to my stomach thinking about it.

BTW, I wish everybody a happy 4th of July. Seriously. I think, in the last 15 years, I've maybe seen it... once? I have fond and precious memories of 4th of July with my girlfriend back in high school. I cherish those memories, even if I'm not with that girl and we've both moved on, I'm glad to have experienced it at least.

I don't have fond memories of 4th of July with my family and my current lady because I think I've worked all of them. The one that I saw? Well, everybody was working, so that was lonely too. I want everything (except hospitals) to be closed 4th of July, I don't think ANYBODY should be working. If you're scheduled to work on the 4th, CALL OUT! Seriously. It's not worth it. Go make some damn memories.

[Kain Nobel]

As of a month ago, we were significantly caught up on everything. Everything is paid in full, plus we're eating good in the hood. I worked my ass off to get to this point.

Some members of family have fallen on hard times. Again. That's OK we take care of our own. Unlike my deadbeat "successful" father, real men care about their families!!!

And now we're over here purchasing food at the Dollar General. On... a credit card? I'm using a CREDIT CARD? I don't use CREDIT CARDS for FOOD purchases. WTF?

If I ever write music with lyrics, I'll have to write a song about the dollar store diet, because it's terrible.

You know what...



^This is some bullshit.

We're shopping Thursday at a real grocery store, but I'm really not looking forward to seeing what the price at the register will be. Nor am I looking forward to these bullshit gas prices. Sometimes I think of just stealing an entire card worth of groceries and speeding off lmao. Of course I'd never do that, but I think about it a lot.

I hate late stage capitalism, wish we could go back to the 80s. Everywhere I've ever gone, I see the scars of old industries of the past which are no longer viable business models. Why did they fail? Pick a state, any state, and it seems you've got a rust belt. Whenever I travel the nation, I see evidence of what it used to be, I can tell this area or that are or the other area all used to be boom towns. Now decimated. Almost like a war zone, but of course they're not. Pathetic.

[Kain Nobel]

I hate silence. It makes me think. That's probably why they keep us all so busy chasing $, so we can't think.

What's with these celebrity news anchors and opinion pundits on mainstream media, always with their criticisms, always knowing the "ills of the nation"? What is their deal? So you just get paid to sit there and bitch? Like the Bill Mahers, the John Olivers, the Tucker Carlsons, the Rachael Maddows of the world. The Sean Hannities. The talk radio people. You're "oh so smart". You've got your finger on the "pulse of the nation". You get paid millions upon millions of dollars.

...Why don't you run for office? Run for President? It takes your kind of money to run, those super deep pockets, and you're "absolutely brilliant" - what, you don't got the balls? Isn't Rachael Maddow a billionaire now? She must be getting close. Hell, she's been on there forever.

Yeah, you don't have the balls. You don't have the style, the class, the charisma, the intelligence, the fortitude. You have nothing. None of you idiots would be good in office. Heck, I don't even think any of you would be good in bed. You're all good for nothing, and I hate to hear you talk, I really do. Nothing any of you say has any relevance or bearing on reality. You live in a fictional world, lying to people, blowing smoke up their ass, making them think it's this way or that. None of it's real. Well, at the very least, none of it is believable. It sounds good, yes, but I can't remember the last time I watched Hannity, or Maddow, or Chuck Todd and was like "yeah, that's my concern of the day. They're taking the guns. Kids in cages. Blah blah blah."

I hope the illusion falls apart soon, so real and organic human beings and get on with the rest of their lives. I gave up the television in 2016, and I'm about to quit news too.

You're all irrelevant. Just look at your Nielsen ratings. Oh, you don't have no ratings. McDonalds is always hiring, CNN and FOX need to just start hiring real people off the street and ditch these clowns. Also, kick the spooks out. No spox spooks.

Also, you should hire me to do closed captioning. I'm a real human, organic, and I type like 5 million words a minute. Seriously, ChatGPT can't even keep up. This whole post took me less than 45 seconds. Also, I'm very inebriated and not using spellcheck or grammarly, so please feel free to check my post for errors.

[/rant]

[Kain Nobel]

Somebody in our family was found dead today. No clue how long they've been deceased. This is the 11th person this year, that I know of. Last month, we lost 3 family friends within the span of a week, one was suicide. Too angry to be sad about it.

2023, the year of death and decay. Went into this year with no hope of anything positive coming out of it, and I've not been disappointed. On New Years, I pre-emptively lowered my expectations. Yeah, can't wait to put this year behind us, hurry up and be over already. What a dumpster fire.

I think 2024 will be the year of awesome. No clue why I've been so optimistic about 2024, maybe just for no reason whatsoever, but I've been waiting for 2024 ever since 2021. So much focus on this year. Don't ask me why, I couldn't tell you. The pendulum is going to swing in the other direction, and everybody will be happy 2024 because... reasons. Shh, don't shatter my optimism. No bad vibes. Better days ahead, m'kay? BETTER DAYS AHEAD! Repeat that a thousand times today: Better days ahead. Go to bed thinking about it, because nobody wants to live in a world of crap.

Focus on self-improvement, or a big goal, for 2024. Nothing vain. Since ditching alcohol and marijuana, I am going to purify myself and purge my addiction to nicotine products. Before 2024. NO. MORE. NICOTINE!!! Cigarettes are a waste of money, and a waste of life.

I wonder what happened to the PSA: "Tumor causing, teeth staining, smelly puking habit!" Genius summary. I never wanted to smoke. How the hell did I wind up smoking? Whatever. It's done for. I'm repeating that phrase in my head all day, because I want this idea to stick.

[kyonides]

There's something else that might encourage you to stop doing such things. It's called getting good friends. If you know that everybody around you is smoking, drinking like stinkin' sailors or  pirates, then it'd be a hell lot harder for you to quit. Bad acquaintances, because they're not friends at all, will always drag you down. That's the only world they know. What did you expect from them? God bless you.

Concerning the RM series, well, the concept isn't new or surprising anymore. It's been around for... 30 years or so? It's hard to be innovative. Then some people come up with crazy ideas like making all characters get blocks for heads. One game or two with such feature could be acceptable but dozens or hundreds of them with that same formula!?

Of course, most people use game engines to make their dream fan games.  
Why would they care about originality?
Then there comes companies like Nintendo chasing down pretty much anybody developing a suspicious Pokemon fangame.
But you know, I think there was a time when one individual truly believed he could sell such a fan game knowing beforehand that it would not end up very well.  So who can blame N for that?

And there's also DOTA that's pretty much a fan remake of Warcraft. It's been a success, yet, the creators of the original base game lost millions because of neglecting their rights as developers and producers.

Oh and there comes a whole different discussion on how Activision / Blizzard became a blood sucking company...