Forty Things To Do with a Dead Follower

[DerVVulfman]

Trust me guys, I didn't come up with this.
I got this from a comic about guys playing pen-n-paper RPG games.

FORTY THINGS TO DO
WITH A DEAD FOLLOWER

by Larry ABodyBag@Granato
Printed in KODT #39: Jan, 2000

Whether they are called hirelings, lackeys, henchmen, or just lowlifes, all flunky-type non-player characters have two things in common: they are low in ability and high in morality. If they're not too helpful when they're alive, why not get some usefulness out of them after they died?

Listed below are 40 suggested roles for expired minions. None require any special skills by the deceased, although cadaver size and state of decay may factor in. Not all proposed uses are applicable to your campaign, so consultation with your Game Master is advised. Also, for fastidious players, the question of good taste may be relevant.

1.  Shield against missiles.
   
   
2.  Battering ram (after rigor mortis sets in).
   
   
3.  Monster bait.
   
   
4.  Hireling morale "booster" ("Look what happened to Fred! He didn't follow orders...").
   
   
5.  Gag gift.
   
   
6.  Castle or Hood ornament (Evil PCs only).
   
   
7.  Distraction for pursuing/attacking monsters.
   
   
8.  Anchor (best if wearing armor).
   
   
9.  Clumsy but effective  missile weapon (one, two, three, heave!).
   
   
10.  Set off traps with.
    
    
11.  Melee weapon (when swung by the heels).
    
    
12.  Fertilizer.
    
    
13.  Treasure storage (may need to gut and clean first).
    
    
14.  Source of magic spell material components.
    
    
15.  Doorstop.
    
    
16.  Sell to necromancers or other corpse-collectors.
    
    
17.  Body parts can be used for practical jokes.
    
    
18.   Counterweight.
    
    
19.  Excessive mourning over body by PC may convince others of his sinserity and sensitivity.
    
    
20.  Convenient person to blame (Party points to corpse and says, "He did it!").
    
    
21.  Pit depth testing.
    
    
22.  Put head on pole as warning to others.
    
    
23.  Low-lying obstacle (best if camouflaged).
    
    
24.  Zombie servant (with animate dead spell).
    
    
25.  Scarecrow.
    
    
26.  Puddle-crossing.
    
    
27.  Booby-trap (with appropriate spells or devices).
    
    
28.  Emergency rations (only for very evil characters or extremel situations).
    
    
29.  Monster snack
    
    
30.  Get to drive in high-occupancy lane without annoyance of a living passenger.
    
    
31.  Chum.
    
    
32.  Receptacle for lost soul.
    
    
33.  Advertisement for mortician/taxidermist (prepared corpses only).
    
    
34.  Extra weight for better vehicle traction.
    
    
35.  Weapon/spell test target.
    
    
36.  Catapult ammunition (best if diseased).
    
    
37.  Glue (some processing required).
    
    
38.  Opportunity for dramatic speech about revenge, etc.
    
    
39.  Ventriloquist's practice dummy
    
    
40.  Raise up for monster fodder. Repeat as needed