LEGOLAS, FRIEND OF UNICORNS

[DerVVulfman]

Trust me guys, I didn't come up with this.
I got this from a website recounting pen-n-paper RPG stories.

LEGOLAS, FRIEND OF UNICORNS

by LordSintax

This comes from a while back. My regular gaming group at the time consisted of a bunch of D&D veterans, people who had been playing for several years. One of our friends decides he wants to join in. We’re all for it, he’s not an idiot and generally gets the concept of RPGs. He rolls up an elven fighter, not necessarily the most original of choices, but hey. It’s his first character. He proceeds to name him (sigh) LEGOLAS, but whatever. As one of the magic items on an adventure, the DM gives him a unicorn bow.

For those of you who don’t remember these, they were basically a +3 bow of appropriate type, except they can fire an arrow of slaying at any creature that has killed a unicorn. This guy was a veteran of video game rpgs, so he didn’t quite grasp the concept that a special feature for a magic item might NEVER come into play. Especially one that obscure. What follows is a rough transcript of the conversation that occurred before EVERY subsequent combat encounter:

Player of Leggy: “Hey, do you think any of these guys have killed a unicorn?”

Other Player: “Ummm… they’re kobolds, dude. I seriously doubt it.”

The best joke that resulted from this player’s obsession with unicorn-slaying peon monsters was that the penultimate encounter of one adventure was combat with an ancient red dragon. Less than 10 rounds in, three of our four meat shields were down for the count, and the rest of the party wasnt exactly having a whole lot of luck even mildly inconveniencing this thing, much less actually bringing it down.

I happened to be sitting next to the DM at this point; and I see, out of the corner of my eye, that there is something scrawled in red ink in the margins of the DM’s otherwise plain black and white adventure notes. It caught my eye, and I couldn’t help it. Once I read it, I started laughing uncontrollably. The other players thought I was having an episode or something, but what the DM had scrawled into his notes, obviously 10 minutes ago was the words “has killed unicorns” next to the dragon’s stats.