THE TREE IS MIGHTIER THAN THE SWORD

[DerVVulfman]

Trust me guys, I didn't come up with this.
I got this from a website recounting pen-n-paper RPG stories.

THE TREE IS MIGHTIER THAN THE SWORD

by CaptainSarathai

Well.. in a campaign with 7 others I just hung out with the DM last night and did my own solo arc. Level 8 at this point. Upon exploring a cave I found, I come to find 2 glowing beautiful naked women… (any one who’s played DMC knows it’s an angler fish drawing me near to eat me)

I do a spot check, *rolls d20*… (3) cant stop looking at the boobies…. they tell me to follow them, Will check, *Rolls d20*… (4) can’t resist the boobies…

A smell worsens and worsens as I go in deeper until I see a crystal, they tell me to touch it, will check *Rolls d20* (7) yes my boobies yes I will! …. later fighting the angler, I love tree tokens and always stock up on a few, had 3x with me.

Smell is getting worse and worse and now hurting my constitution, I have to get out of the water I’m in, I throw the token below me, I’m launched in to the air, but that’s not all! At the height I jump (+16 skill – 6 plate penalty= roll of 10+10=20) I then jump down for the creature to stab it from 80 ft up with a great sword, Roll to hit *Rolls d20* 19 Hit! (finally a good roll!) It worked so well I try again, dropping my sword on the way up (Oh noez!)

Jumping down I roll just high enough to land on the creature. I look for my sword…( bad idea in water near a fish)Roll reflex…!? *rolls d20* (4) (Uh oh…) I’m eaten…. no sword… in a fish… oh no…what do I…. ? I HAVE ONE TREE TOKEN LEFT! KAbLaMOO! Luckily I survived the heavy damage I sustained, but hooray it was dead.