THE BUTLER DID IT

[DerVVulfman]

Trust me guys, I didn't come up with this.
I got this from a website recounting pen-n-paper RPG stories.

THE BUTLER DID IT

by Dorizzit

I’m pretty good at figuring out mysteries on TV shows. I also know my DM fairly well. It was the start of a new story arc in our group. The party had been called in to find out who was behind a recent series of murders of people who had been found with demonic symbols carved into their skin. I’m listening to the introductions of various NPCs, and eventually pick out one I’m certain is the big bad. I’m playing a good version of an Assassin.

Me: I begin to study Lord Denduron carefully.

DM: Okay... *continues talking about various NPC introductions*

*I surreptitiously check my watch every couple of seconds. 18 pass when...*

Me: I make a Death attack on Lord Denduron.

DM: WHAT!?!?

Me: You heard me.

DM: roll an attack…

*hits*

I then calmly explain to the court that my divine intuition showed me this man’s guilt, and that if they checked his quarters they would find damning evidence. They do.

The DM then takes out a large and fairly thick binder and says: This is the adventure series you just ruined. Happy? He then later had a lieutenant take over for Lord Denduron and we went through most of the adventure anyway. Still, he made me promise never to do that again.