I'm sorry. You weaponized WHAT?

[DerVVulfman]

Trust me guys, I didn't come up with this.
I got this from a youtube video recounting pen-n-paper RPG stories.
Unfortunately, no names were attributed.

I'm sorry.  You weaponized WHAT?

One thing I never expected to say in a Star Wars game roleplaying game was... "Congratulations, you have successfully weaponized Hutt porn."

Now here's the story.

Early on in the campaign the group decided the best way to get information from a Hutt crime boss was to win him over while simultaneously screwing over all of his loyal lieutenants.  The Hutt's minions were planning a big birthday party, so the players sabotaged all their plans while planning their own celebration instead.

One of the players was role-playing an Astromech droid (an R4) and since he had already hacked into the Hutt's computer system the player (realizing that part of his gear was a built-in holograph projector) announced that his contribution to the party would be checking the Hutt's online history, downloading all his favorite porn and playing it at the party via his holo-projector.

I think he ended up with something like 2TB of Hutt porn.

The party was a big success, and they got the info.

The campaign continued for a good long time, roughly a year at this point. And now the players were now helping a planet on the outer Rim overthrow the Imperials stationed on their world. After uniting all the clans, they planned a big assault on the main Imperial garrison. But the real problem the foresaw was an orbiting Star Destroyer. If the Stormtroopers started to get overrun they would just call down an orbital bombardment, so our smuggler (in a stolen Imperial officer's uniform)and R4 droid fake their way into the communication uplink bunker and roll a huge crit (or saving throw) to hack into the communication's system.

So I tell the droid player that his character realized that due to where they hacked in he is actually already inside the network firewall. At this point a normal person would use this to change their targeting computers, so when the Destroyer fired they would hit their own troops.
But no, he wanted to do something REALLY distracting.

He was scanning his character sheet for a really nasty virus or program when he realized he still had all that Hutt porn on his hard drive.

"I'm uploading ALL the porn to the Star Destroyer!" he shouts.  So on the bridge of the Imperial Star Destroyer, one minute they are watching the radar and the next minute every monitor, screen and scanner is showing Two Hutts One Cup.

He wanted me to roll to see if any of them got physically sick, so I did.  It was a Nat-1 critical fail.

I proceeded to describe how once one officer started puking, it started a chain reaction of more people getting sick until the bridge of the Star Destroyer was basically covered in vomit while the players were rolling with laughter.

By the time the crew on the Star Destroyer had gotten everything working again, the players had already beaten the garrison boss fight. And the now wildly enthusiastic locals were starting to take potshots at the Destroyer with the base's own turbolasers.

The Star Destroyer was forced to flee into hyperspace.

And that's the story of how my players weaponized Hutt porn.