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 The Artificial's Bag
Trust me guys, I didn't come up with this.
I got this from a youtube video recounting pen-n-paper RPG stories.
Unfortunately, no names were attributed.

The Artificial's Bag

Some time ago, my party found a magic duffel bag in a dumpster behind an Artificer's workshop. It appeared to be an early prototype made in an effort to actually mass produce magical items. However, an unfortunate typo in the runes had led to the bag producing items of dubious utility.

Once per day, the owner of the bag can say the command phrase "Caveat Emptor" and pull a random magical item from the bag.

Some of the items we encountered were:
  • The Boots of Teleporation: Once per long rest, you can activate these boots. These boots (and only the boots) teleport to the location you specify as if using he word of recall spell.

  • The Boots of Banana Resistance: You now have advantage on any Dexterity (Acrobatics) rolls when slipping on a banana peel.

  • The Boots of Levitation: These boots levitate when not worn.

  • The Boots of Noisy Speed: These well-made and stylish boots give the wearer an extra +10 feet to his or her Movement Rate. The problem, however, is that the boots are very squeaky. Very, very squeaky. In fact, they are so squeaky that the wearer gets a whopping -10 on rolls to attempt to move silently.

  • The Cape of Good Hope: The wearer will never feel hopeless or despondent, nor believe victory in the long run to be impossible.

  • The Cape of Dramatic Billowing: Makes anyone look heroic (optional +1 to charm), but a downright liability when you're trying to sneak up on people.

  • The Girdle of Kobold Strength: Makes your strength score 6 (yes, this would have been a decent bonus to carry capacity on a few characters over the years).

  • The Glove of Settle-the-F-down: A glove, when used to slap someone, makes them realize what a b they're being and that they need to chill the f out (DC 13 Calm Emotions).

  • The Ring of Signalling: Two rings I found actually useful. The wearer of either ring can change the color of the inset stone with a thought. The other ring's stone turns to the same color.

  • The Ring of Secret Invisibility: This ring causes you to turn invisible, but only when nobody is looking. (Did anyone watch Mystery Men?)

  • The Ring of Invulnerability: This ring can never be destroyed.

  • The Ring of Invisibility when Worn: This ring becomes invisible when worn.
Up is down, left is right and sideways is straight ahead. - Cord "Circle of Iron", 1978 (written by Bruce Lee and James Coburn... really...)
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