Eighty-Five Different Ways to Call Someone Stupid

[DerVVulfman]

Trust me guys, I didn't come up with this.
I got this from a comic about guys playing pen-n-paper RPG games.

Eighty-Five Different Ways
to Call Someone Stupid

1. A few clowns short of a circus
   
2. A few fries short of a happy meal
   
3. An experiment in Artificial Stupidity
   
4. A few beers short of a six-pack
   
5. Dumber than a box of hair
   
6. A few peas short of a casserole
   
7. Doesn't have all his cornflakes in one box
   
8. Wheel's spinning! Hamster's Dead!
   
9. One fruit loop shy of a full bowl
   
10. One taco short of a combo plate
    
11. A few feathers short of a whole duck
    
12. All foam. No beer!
    
13. The cheese has slid off his cracker.
    
14. Body by Fisher. Brains by Mattel!
    
15. Has an IQ of 2, but it takes 3 to grunt.
    
16. Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.
    
17. Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel
    
18. He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down
    
19. An intellect rivaled only by garden tools
    
20. As smart as bait
    
21. Chimney's clogged
    
22. Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash
    
23. Doesn't know too much, but leads the league in nostril hair
    
24. Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor
    
25. Forgot to pay his brain bill
    
26. Sweing machine is out of thread
    
27. His antenna isn't picking up all the channels
    
28. His belt doesn't go through all the loops
    
29. If he had another brain, it would be lonely
    
30. Missing a few buttons on the remote control
    
31. No grain in the silo
    
32. Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse
    
33. Receiver is off the hook
    
34. Several nuts short of a full pouch
    
35. Skylight leaks
    
36. Slinky's kinked
    
37. Surfing in Nebrasca
    
38. Too mmuch yardage between the goal posts
    
39. Not the sharpest tool in the shed
    
40. If brains were bird droppings, he'd have a clean cage
    
41. A few dice short of a full bag.
    
42. A few levels short of a dungeon
    
43. Carrying an empty easter basket
    
44. A dew stats short of a magic user
    
45. Helmet's small
    
46. Got the dexterity but still can't be an illusionist
    
47. Saving under his INT is touch with a 4-sider
    
48. Has to be a fighter
    
49. A few pips short of a player character.
    
50. Ain't no psionist
    
51. Great helm needs some padding
    
52. Should've been a shopkeeper
    
53. A few dice short of a role-player
    
54. Only used 2-six siders... and rolled poorly
    
55. Bad 2nd roll
    
56. At least he's got high strength
    
57. A few pips short of an ogre
    
58. About as sharp as a sack of wet mice
    
59. Immune to illusionists
    
60. Lucky this ain't Ars Magica
    
61. Makes the Knights of the Dinner Table look brilliant
    
62. A player short of a solo game
    
63. First time role-playing?
    
64. A few orcs short of a war party
    
65. Missing a stat
    
66. 5 pullets in his six-shooter
    
67. Shootin' blanks
    
68. Only plays a bodyguard
    
69. At least this game has barbarians
    
70. Can only communicate with grunts and gestures
    
71. No additional languages
    
72. Haggles wrong
    
73. Can learn 2-4 tricks
    
74. Always leads the way
    
75. Good at open door rolls
    
76. Can't be demi-human
    
77. Needs Comprehend Languages for common
    
78. Speak with Animals useful as a communication aid
    
79. TSR's target audience since 1986
    
80. No extra proficiencies
    
81. Intellect Devourer attacked him and left starving
    
82. Lost a battle witha Mind Flayer
    
83. Charm Person good for 3 months
    
84. Immune to Tasha's Uncontrollable Hideous Laughter
    
85. Big fan of Xena