DON’T EAT SHROOMS

[DerVVulfman]

Trust me guys, I didn't come up with this.
I got this from a comic about guys playing pen-n-paper RPG games.

DON’T EAT SHROOMS


by Darmort 08/20/2017

Level 1 Party enters dead wood.

ME: My Druid’s going to look for signs of animals.

GM: Nothing. It’s a dead wood, no signs of life other than the odd mushroom. *passes me a note*. *Mushrooms turn out to be Mushrooms I’ve used before that knock people out for three days.*

ME: Right… okay, I’m leading the way. I’m telling everyone to walk exactly where I walk and don’t touch anything. *At night party makes camp. Three Party Members decide to investigate the mushrooms*

Bender: I’m taking a handful of mushrooms to eat.

Brodie: Me too!

Hilton: Might as well have some food in this place.

Me: FUCK! No!

GM: All three of you fall unconscious.

Me, Seb and Jack: *Shake our heads, then decide to laugh at them*

GM: First night, you’re fine while these guys are still unconscious. Second night, you hear howls.

Me: I hide the unconscious guys.

Seb: I hide.

Jack: I fail my hide…

*Werewolf comes along* *Bites Jack* *Sniffs a mushroom*

Me: I behead the Werewolf while it’s unconscious, then hide the body.

GM: Fine, Werewolf’s dead. Another Werewolf is approaching.

Me: I hide again and pick up some mushrooms?

GM: It finds you, and you can pick up the mushrooms since you recognize them.

Me: Balls. I bluff it and tell it that we found this Werewolf dead here and were burying the body, only my companions were stupid enough to go mushroom picking.

GM: The Werewolf doesn’t believe you, claiming you killed his mate.

Seb: You’re fucked, dude.

Me: No shit… I throw the mushrooms at it. *Rolls dice*

GM: The Werewolf is knocked unconscious.

Me: I behead it and bury it with the other Werewolf.

The GM was an evil git. Werewolves for a Level 1 party…