Okay, guys. I didn't make this one up. I found it online.
Cat Phrase
Meaning
========
========
miaow
Feed me.
meeow
Pet me.
mrooww
I love you.
miioo-oo-oo
I am in love and must meet my betrothed outside beneath the hedge. Don't wait up.
mrow
I feel like making noise.
rrrow-mawww
Please, the time is come to tidy the cat box.
rrrow-miawww
I have remedied the cat box untidiness by shoveling the contents as far out of the box as was practical.
miaowmiaow
Play with me.
miaowmioaw
Have you noticed the shortage of available cat toys in this room?
mioawmioaw
Since I can find nothing better to play with, I shall see what happens when I sharpen my claws on this handy piece of furniture.
raowwwww
I think I shall now spend time licking the most private parts of my anatomy.
mrowwwww
I am now recalling, with sorrow, that some of my private parts did not return with me from that visit to the vet.
roww-maww-roww
I am so glad to see that you have returned home with both arms full of groceries. I will now rub myself against your legs and attempt to trip you as you walk towards the kitchen.
mmeww
I believe I have heard a burglar. If you would like to go and beat him senseless, I shall be happy to keep your spot in the bed warm.
gakk-ak-ak
My digestive passages seem to have formed a hairball. Wherever could this have come from? I shall leave it here upon the carpeting.
mow
Snuggling is a good idea.
moww
Shedding is pretty good, too.
mowww!
I was enjoying snuggling and shedding in the warm clean laundry until you removed me so unkindly.
miaow! miaow!
I have discovered that, although one may be able to wedge his body through the gap behind the stove and into that little drawer filled with pots and pans, the reverse path is slightly more difficult to navigate.
mraakk!
Oh, small bird! Please come over here.
ssssroww!
I believe that I have found a woodchuck. I shall now act terribly brave.
mmmmmmm
If I sit in the sunshine for another week or so, I think I shall be satisfied.
Up is down, left is right and sideways is straight ahead. - Cord "Circle of Iron", 1978 (written by Bruce Lee and James Coburn... really...)
How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?
Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?
Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.
Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!
Rottweiler: Make me.
Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.
Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!
German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.
Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.
Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb!
Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.
Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.
Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there.....
Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?
Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle...
Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
Cat: "Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the real question is: How long will it be before I can expect some light, some dinner, and
a massage?"
Quotes
You shoulda gone to China. You know, 'cause I hear they give away babies like free iPods. You know they pretty much just put them in those t-shirt guns and shoot them out at sporting events.
... And then the Prince Knelt Down and tried to put the Glass Slipper on Cinderella's Foot by Judith Viorst
I really didn't notice that he had a funny nose.
And he certainly looked better dressed up in fancy clothes.
He's not nearly as attractive as he seemed the other night.
So I think I'll just pretend that this glass slipper feels too tight.
The beauty of life is, while we cannot undo what is done,
we can see it, understand it, learn from it and change.
So that every new moment is spent not in regret, guilt, fear or anger,
but in wisdom, understanding and love.
Jennifer Edwards
"The Christian system of Religion is an outrage on common sense" -- Thomas Paine
"The Hocus Pocus phantasy of a God, like another Cerberus, with one body and three heads, had its birth and growth in the blood of thousands and thousands of martyrs." -- Thomas Jefferson
"Reality sucks Thats why I play Hungry Hungry Hippo"
"So... what if i had a siamese penis?"
"My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fiber, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes."
A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who, however, has never learned to walk forward. - Franklin D. Roosevelt
You know, if a mere human was mentally split into three personas like your god he'd be in an insane assylm right?
Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.
Practice safe lunch: Use a condiment.
The attack on women's reproductive rights has nothing to do with life and everything to do with trying to put women back in their "place"
"you can always tell what kind a person a man thinks you are by the earrings he gives you" --- Audrey Hepburn
The religion of the future will be a cosmic religion. It should transcend personal God and avoid dogma and theology. Covering both the natural and the spiritual, it should be based on a religious sense arising from the experience of all things natural and spiritual as a meaningful unity. Buddhism answers this description. If there is any religion that could cope with modern scientific needs it would be Buddhism. (Albert Einstein)
hmm... that must be old of a kitty can sleep on the monitor :P
Quotes
You shoulda gone to China. You know, 'cause I hear they give away babies like free iPods. You know they pretty much just put them in those t-shirt guns and shoot them out at sporting events.
... And then the Prince Knelt Down and tried to put the Glass Slipper on Cinderella's Foot by Judith Viorst
I really didn't notice that he had a funny nose.
And he certainly looked better dressed up in fancy clothes.
He's not nearly as attractive as he seemed the other night.
So I think I'll just pretend that this glass slipper feels too tight.
The beauty of life is, while we cannot undo what is done,
we can see it, understand it, learn from it and change.
So that every new moment is spent not in regret, guilt, fear or anger,
but in wisdom, understanding and love.
Jennifer Edwards
"The Christian system of Religion is an outrage on common sense" -- Thomas Paine
"The Hocus Pocus phantasy of a God, like another Cerberus, with one body and three heads, had its birth and growth in the blood of thousands and thousands of martyrs." -- Thomas Jefferson
"Reality sucks Thats why I play Hungry Hungry Hippo"
"So... what if i had a siamese penis?"
"My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fiber, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes."
A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who, however, has never learned to walk forward. - Franklin D. Roosevelt
You know, if a mere human was mentally split into three personas like your god he'd be in an insane assylm right?
Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.
Practice safe lunch: Use a condiment.
The attack on women's reproductive rights has nothing to do with life and everything to do with trying to put women back in their "place"
"you can always tell what kind a person a man thinks you are by the earrings he gives you" --- Audrey Hepburn
The religion of the future will be a cosmic religion. It should transcend personal God and avoid dogma and theology. Covering both the natural and the spiritual, it should be based on a religious sense arising from the experience of all things natural and spiritual as a meaningful unity. Buddhism answers this description. If there is any religion that could cope with modern scientific needs it would be Buddhism. (Albert Einstein)
The Cat / English Dictionary
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