11-01-2016, 12:20 PM
Hope everybody had a great Halloween! I know I am, watching this nightmare of a Hillary campaign implode like the WTC. Let's take a look at the key players and supporters and their status right now.
- Hillary Clinton : Ugh. I don't think she even gets as many rally-goers as Mike Pence. Still not in prison.
- Bill Clinton : Can't seem to campaign without somebody yelling "RAPIST!" Probably in hiding now.
- Tim Kaine : Cannot draw crowds. Cancelled a recent rally. Will be speaking in Phoenix today... IN SPANISH! Gotta pander to "needy hispanics" (their words, not mine.)
- Barack Obama : Campaigning for Clinton and partying with rappers who make songs about date rape and prostitutes.
- Michelle Obama : Campaigning for Clinton. Her hypocritical rhetoric is naked as day. Idolizes Beyonce.
- Joe Biden : Campaigning for Clinton. Admitted Zionist. Videos show that he may be "Creepy Uncle Joe" when he's around women, especially young girls.
- Al Gore : Campaigned with Clinton. Global warming predictions wildly exaggerated. Nobody seems to care about this clown.
- Loretta Lynch : Legally obstructing justice and handing out immunity. Pleads 5th Amendment on Iran ransom payment questions.
- James Comey : Good cop? Bad cop? Re-opened E-Mail investigation thanks to Anthony Wiener's... issues. Hopefully he'll serve a hot plate of honest and unapologetic justice.
- David Brock : Media Matters propagandist. Utilizes "Correct the Record" trolls in online forums. Everybody, including John Podesta, hates him.
- Robby Mook : Still shilling. Couldn't debunk Project Veritas, but tried his best.
- John Podesta : Russian ties? Alien/UFO stuff? Zero point energy would be nice. Whatever, still shilling.
- Neera Tanden : Loyal advisor and propagandist. It's not her fault Clinton campaign is failing; she actually seems like a well rounded professional regardless of my views on her politics.
- Cheryl Mills : Lawyer and advisor. She knew of Abedin's extremist ties but covered them up.
- Peter Kadzik : Good friends with John Podesta. Department of Justice is putting him in charge of new E-Mail investigation.
- Huma Abedin : Hiding, probably contemplating suicide / divorce. 650,000 additional E-Mails discovered.
- Anthony Wiener : Allegedly caught sexting jail bait teen. 650,000 additional E-Mails discovered.
- Debbie Wasserman Schultz : Resigned from DNC, joined Clinton Campaign. Not appearing much in public.
- Amy Dacey : Resigned from DNC after rigged primary WikiLeaks revelations.
- Tulsi Gabbard : Resigned from DNC after rigged primary WikiLeaks revelations.
- Brad Marshall : Resigned from DNC after rigged primary WikiLeaks revelations.
- Luis Miranda : Resigned from DNC after rigged primary WikiLeaks revelations.
- Donna Brazile : Stepped down from CNN. Still working for DNC.
- Bob Creamer : Stepped down from Democracy Partners after Project Veritas expose.
- Scott Foval : Fired from Americans United for Change after Project Veritas expose.
- Aaron Black : "Nobody is supposed to really know about me." Now they do after Project Veritas expose.
- Brad Woodhouse : Caught organizing foreign donations. Returned money after Project Veritas expose.
- Russ Feingold : Caught organizing foreign donations. Returned money after Project Veritas expose. Running for Senate.
- Bernie Sanders : Got screwed in primaries. Shilling for Hill, but not very well.
- Glen Beck : He's... how does he still have a career? The Blaze will be bankrupt and he'll be applying at McDonalds soon.
- Michael Moore : Still fat. Trumpland trailer makes a good Donald Trump ad, but I guess the rest of the work is a Hillary Clinton love letter.
- George Clooney : UN Ambassador for Rapefugees, right? Yeah, refugees swarmed his Lake Cumo area and trashed the place.
- Amy Schumer : Famous for being a self-proclaimed slutty comic. No longer advertising for Bud Light.
- Matt Damon : Plays a gun-toting bad ass but is anti-gun and pro-Hillary. Still making stupid Bourne movies probably. I don't watch them.
- Johnny Depp : Triggered by Trump. Likes to punch his lady in the face. God bless Amber Heard, she donated her settlement money to charity.
- Miley Cyrus : Was an innocent Disney girl. Now she rides a giant plastic penis while sporting a boyish haircut. Triggered by Trump.