Some Short Detective or Medieval Related Topic

[kyonides]

Well, I updated Brice's and Derek's background stories adding a few details on Brice's past and Derek's future. I hope I get more opinions on these matters.

[kyonides]

Brief Description Of My Fantasy World

So far the world was relatively peaceful, its technology resembled that of some Stone Age like cultures on Earth. There were some minor skirmishes but nothing could destroy the balance and set fire to the world. At least that was how people preferred to view it until a recent discovery turned it upside down, tin was found and now simple copper tools and weapons would be replaced by new ones made out of bronze, a stronger metal alloy.

This situation started some sort of revolution everywhere. Kingdoms now couldn't stand their neighbors anymore, some of them even demanded the payment of tributes from previously ignored nomadic tribes. That could also be a ruse to hide their true intentions, to get access to local deposits of tin. The tribal leaders disagreed with this just as expected from them. A large scale war could start at any moment.

There's also a widespread myth in this world that tells about a mysterious event called the Day of Reckoning. It's supposed to be the very same day when all the races living in this world will be judged and rewarded or punished according to their deeds by some unknown entities. Elders say that the last one took place about a millennium ago and it's the reason why life is so hard and full of dangers for any existing race.

[kyonides]

To be honest with you I've been disappointed at the lack of responses and suggestions so I wasn't supposed to post another reply here but I've got some inspiration tonight thanks to another contact of mine.

Her verses (or those that might belong to a song she likes)...

"Follow me into the endless night.
I can bring your fears to live.
Show me yours and I'll show you mine.
Meet me in the woods tonight."

And here come some of my own as well...

"Never been a fan of the night eternal
especially since I watched her very eyes
gone not lustful or playful but feral
and my plan of escaping lost its spice."

So people, what do you think about them?

[DerVVulfman]

I already gave ya a thumbs up.

[Bounty Hunter Lani]

Sounds very nice indeed! 

[kyonides]

Here you may find some new verses I wrote last night. I can´t tell if they're good or not, if they're well written or need more fixes than any RPG Maker script...

"Please, don't open your mouth to tell me lies
about how you can't now stand me anymore,
Just let my poor hardworking lips convince you
of how much we still care about each other's troubles."

The verses above were composed to tease a girl...

*****

"Darling, you deserve a better man than I was back then.
You were meant to giggle instead of crying because of me.
I've broken your heart for the most stupid things I've ever done.
Still, my heart needs your forgiveness to keep it beating normally."

So people, what do you think about them?

[Bounty Hunter Lani]

Where will they come into play?
Notes left behind as clues or something? 

They are nice, though.

[kyonides]

Well, now that you ask about it I guess one of them could be the words my character Derek dedicate to the girl he likes while the other verses might be Brice's trying to apologize for not being there for his ex-wife or his new girlfriend. Or the latter could be some serial killer's trying to justify his cruel actions somehow.

[Bounty Hunter Lani]

Veeeeeeery interesting! 

[kyonides]

I could even use the verses I posted days ago as some sort of EMS sent back and forth between a psycho girl and my detective...